Ramblings. Literally.

Still recovering from this bout of Covid. It’s stupid. I’m on Day 11 since testing – Still tired. Still have the headache. Still have crazy hot flashes/sweats. The being hot may be the most bizarre. I’m ALWAYS cold. Now I sit here stripping off all layers of clothes. Turning the heat off even tho it’s freezing outside. And waiting for it to pass. It’s insane.

I did some googling on how long the sweating lasts after Covid and came across that the sweating is a symptom of the Omnicron Variant. And it’s really unknown how long it could last. Ummm, yay for lower heat bills? I was at least sick for a day before testing. It’s probably really Day 12 or 13 since the infection began. We will see how long these lasting feelings last.

I’m going to return to my second job this week. My boss asked if I was sure I was good. Sure. Who knows how long the last few symptoms will last. I can’t afford to stay home forever. We will see how it goes. I can try the week and let her know if I need less.

I sat down and looked at my budget and saving goals. I actually need to save a little less than I’d thought to have 6 months of expenses saved. That part was exciting. I’ve got a total of 6 student loans and my car. Organized them all in order and figured I’ll just start slowly pounding them out. One isn’t shit and will be easy. The first 2 should be fairly simply and then they’ll take longer. But I’ve got a game plan at least. Maybe I can pay off 3 by the end of this year. That just leaves the 3 most expensive ones. If I live cheaply OR gave up part of my savings I could pay more. We will just slowly wait and see. It’s all a process.

But hey – At least I plan to pay these student loans back. I keep hearing about mass forgiveness. I’m not counting on it. At all. I qualify for forgiveness if I work for the state and make ten years of payments. But honestly, there’s no way it’s going to take me 10 years. I’d like them paid off in 5 or less. Highly doubtful. Government forgiveness – Maybe but I’m not holding my breath. I’ll assume they announce in May payments resume as they are supposed to. Though I am watching the news out of curiosity. I don’t agree with mass payoff. We expected to pay them when we took them. I’d happily take a match payment or something. But full forgiveness isn’t anything I expect or feel I deserve.

Another old friend was murdered. That’s literally all I know. It’s strange. He was an amazingly nice guy, great job, tons of money, not in with the wrong crowd. Just randomly found dead of homicide after not going to work. Nothing else released. I’m sad for his kids. But so very curious on how and why and who. We hadn’t talked much the last decade. Captain Douche insisted I unfriend him but we’d kept up a little throughout the time. I remember writing about him on here way back when – He liked me. I chose Captain Douche because I was an idiot. Oh how different life could always have turned out with different choices.

Oddly, I feel like so many of the people I dated or slept with or married have died. It’s slightly weird too. Did I pick people with high risk to death? Yes. But not all of them. Not this guy. I was trying to do the math – Dustin B – dated off/on June 2004 – November 2005, suicide. Brandon S – June 2005 – August 2004 – car accident. Trent – Nov 2005 – January 2008 (married him 2007) – heart attack at 30. Chris – off/on January 2008 – March 2008 and considered 2009 – murdered. Literally, almost everyone from 2004 – 2009 are dead. 2008 – 2021 – Douche – still alive. And Jason from 2004 – 2005 is still alive. Everyone in between that was anything beyond a one night stand and that I actually liked once upon a time. Dead. Just oddly weird. I feel like there was someone else but I can’t remember. There was my friend Matt too when I waited tables in 2009. He liked me. He randomly died also. Moral of the story – Maybe don’t like me or sleep with me or date me. Second moral of the story – Could Captain Douche be next or Alex’s “father” who is the one before all these? If either happen I’ll officially consider myself bad luck.

Alright, that’s about all I’ve got. I need some food. And to maybe try to clean a little.