He cancelled…
The title says it all.
I knew in my soul his easy agreement was too good to be true.
He texted he couldn’t go with as he just realized he’s on the schedule for both jobs. I asked about Sunday. He didn’t answer that.
I also asked if he wanted to just come over tonight… He replied he has to be up at 5:30 am. Okay. Cool.
I eventually asked if a different night worked for him. Silence. He read it but didn’t reply.
He was at work but still he could have replied by now. I’m sure he’s off.
I’m done making excuses for him. If there was a will there would be a way. He simply isn’t currently interested. Plain & simple. That’s not me overthinking. It is obviously the truth.
Maybe this is the world doing me a favor. I said from the beginning we were different levels and I was a huge catch for him basically. My shit appears together while his is a struggle. I guess I wanted him to rise up though and meet me at my level or grow to my level. Again, obviously he isn’t interested.
So, my goal – not to text him. The balls in his court. I asked if something would work. He chose not to respond. If he responds someday – great. If not, I’ll be sad but it’s his loss. It truly is his loss. Fuck him.
Will I succeed at not texting him? Probably not. But I will for at least a little while. Maybe Wednesday I’ll hit him up. Maybe. That’s the goal. At least Wednesday.
I’d by lying if I said I wasn’t hoping and praying he texts me back though.
Sigh. I’m pathetic.
Just another lonely Friday night.
Sorry he isn’t interested, I have been in a similar position… you should move on and not let it eat you up. I know all about hope and it’s hard to give up on him. Hold your head up high and keep going. He goes low, you go high.
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🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷 You don’t necessarily need a man to make you happy, it’s nice yes, but not necessary.
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I hope this makes sense, but your feelings aren’t really for him. They’re for your idea of him. I say this from experience. I was so attention starved as a child that I fell madly in love with anyone who showed the slightest hint of interest. Not only did I end up spending a lot of nights endlessly checking messages to see if I missed one, but I did the math once, and realized that at the age of 41, I’d spent 40% of my life in relationships I didn’t want to be in, because I felt guilty about hurting anyone. Even if they treated me poorly, which they all did in one way or another, I’d feel guilty if I was the one doing the breaking up.
I finally met my bestie, and realized that happiness can come in all kinds of forms. Aside from the physical aspects of a romantic relationship, she and I were basically a couple for many years until one of those men got in between us. I got rid of him, begged her for forgiveness, and really didn’t care so much about men for the next few years. When I finally did begin dating again, it was to the man I married a year ago last Monday. We’ve been together for 10, and he treats me like a queen.
People say you have to love yourself to love someone else. I wasn’t quite to the point of loving myself when he and I met, but I was definitely in a better relationship with myself. All of this stuff is in my diary. It’s a long read. I’m starting a podcast based on all of this stuff. Look for Unhateyourself.com around the first of the year. 🙂
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Yeah, fuck him. Some motherfuckers are just fucked up. It is what it fucking is.
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