Eye Exam

Still feel crappy.  The weekend was rough as I felt like complete dog shit the entire time.  Every muscle ached, horrible runny/stuff nose & painful sinuses.  Of course I powered through it and made it to everything I needed too.  Zak had a fever Saturday too and missed soccer. (Alex still went.) So, it wasn’t just me.  (Of course Ty also has a cold & thinks he’s on his death bed.  Why are men so much more dramatic then chicks when they get the same damn thing?)  I made a huge batch of chicken noodle soup Saturday after soccer and loaded it up with garlic and onions in hopes of curing everyone.  Seems it worked on Zak and I do feel somewhat better today.  Still sick, but better.

Just had an eye appointment and finally ordered new contacts and glasses.  My vision has changed drastically and it explains why I was so blind with the old contacts in.  They changed by like an entire point.  Not good.  I ordered glasses and contacts.  It’ll be great to finally have glasses again that I can wear out in public and even contacts that actually work.  Amazing really.  My mom paid for it and I told her I’d give her $50/month until it’s paid off.  Ugh.  Why can’t anything be free or at least cheap.  Wishful thinking.  (On a positive note I can now see the clock.)

Sometimes I truly wonder if Ty knows a way into this and reads it.  At times he just says things that are weird.  We got into it pretty decently Friday night and he just kept telling me I cut him down, I act like he’s not trying to get a job, I call him names.  Yet, he couldn’t specify a situation or place that I’ve ever done any of this.  I’m extremely careful around him.  I’ve given up on bitching about jobs weeks ago as it makes no difference and never in a million years have I called him a name to his face or within hearing distance.  Just on here.  There’s been times in the past too that he’s said something or acted weird after I’ve written something specific.  So, I really do wonder if he’s found a way to hack into this and see what I’ve written.  Oh well.  Even if he has I don’t plan on changing my writing as it’s my journal to write whatever I see fit and if I want to call him a jobless loser in my own venting session I can.  And that’s that.

Friday night was awful.  He ended up leaving and coming back hours later.  He seems to think that I always cut him down.  I don’t understand that as I have been 150% supportive for months and years to his stupid choices.  He blamed me for him not being able to get ahead.  Again, I don’t understand this or what I do to prohibit him from getting ahead.  It’s not me.  I think it all boils down to the fact he doesn’t trust me for some crazy reason and that’s the reason he doesn’t just go work on the rigs.  God only knows what I’d do while he was gone (note sarcasm, I live the most boring life in the universe).  In the end he makes it sound as if everything is my fault and then says he’s not blaming anyone he just has to do what he needs to do for himself.  He says I make it sound like he doesn’t want a job, but that he does but won’t do something that makes him unhappy. 

Yeah, really, overall I just don’t get him.  He says he wants a job, but I really don’t see him trying all that hard.  Granted he has been sicker then crap and I can understand not wanting to start a new job when you’re sick, but you can’t be sick forever.  I’m just quietly watching and waiting to see what happens.  I like to believe that once he feels better he will quickly go look for a job.  Just hoping it doesn’t take a million years for him to get better.