Dating Ramblings and Stupid Neighbors.

It’s Sunday already. For having nothing to do the weekend still goes by far too fast.

Did I succeed on not texting Cody? Hell, no. Did he give me any good replies. Also, hell no. He replied a couple times but I need far more than what he’s giving. He went from apologizing when he took an hour to reply because he was busy to not replying at all half the time. My biggest issue is I hate not knowing the “whys” in life. Why did he go from so hot to so cold? I’ll happily move on but would prefer an answer to that. I’m sure I won’t get it. I’m also sure in my heart I already know. His crazy ass stupid ex pulled her own game the last night we really talked. Showing up because she had nowhere to go as her dealer boyfriend had just been arrested after the two idiots started the house on fire being addicts. He told me this and said he wanted to be honest, said he just told her how bad she hurt him and made her listen. She then promptly went to jail and will be there for quite some time. Honestly, I know in my heart he’s hoping if she gets clean in jail she’ll want to stay clean and work it out with him – not returning to the dealer she cheated on him with and left him for. So, basically if I’m honest with myself he’s keeping me around as an option but is hoping they can just be together.

That’ll never happen. Their relationship is solely based on addiction. She’s truly crazy and hasn’t been a good person the whole time I’ve known of her. Her addiction runs deep as does her trauma. Trauma that will likely always lead her to use unless she gets serious help which I don’t see happening. She’s going back to the dealer within a month of getting out of jail is my prediction. I don’t know if it’s the drugs or the dealer has a golden dick – but any chick he hooks goes back over and over. I’m more than just an option though. If he wants to hold out hope for her. Let him. I’m not a choice. I’m not a convenience. It stings a little as I wish he’d talk to me as a friend at least because I would listen, as always. But at this point it’s whatever. So, today I’m again going to try not to text him. I’ve actually got little to say. I’ll need to talk to him Wednesday as the watch bands I ordered for him should be in. That can be short and sweet though. Someday maybe I confront him on the what happened shit. But I know. I need to trust my gut.

So in typical Heather fashion what am I going to do next? Most definitely not sit here alone with my feelings. I did that all day yesterday and it was rough. So rough. I finished the book “Tender Parts” that my therapist recommended last week. I really like the IFS system of parts. I realized my biggest exiled part is the abandoned child. This part has been triggered massively and rose to the surface with my Grandpa dying. It’s struggling. My protective parts are in overdrive trying to calm that child. I cried plenty. I scrubbed my house like a crazy person. Drove two hours to buy candy at Walmart. Argued with my neighbor. I went for a 3 mile walk… My new goal. Walk or hike 3 miles a day. Two days down… only on the days I don’t work both jobs though.

Today – like I said typical Heather fashion – I’m going to go on a random date and have a couple beers with a guy named Tom. He texted at midnight and asked if we were ever going to meet up or what. Me being in the middle of my reflection meltdown and hatred of being alone said sure. We agreed to meet halfway for just a couple beers and conversation. I have no idea if I’ll even like the guy that much. He holds a decent text conversation. He’s cute in pictures. He’s got a job. Single dad with full custody of two teens. So, I’ll go make the most of it. I’m not getting attached today by any means. Lesson learned on that front. However, I’m up for new friends and conversation. I asked bluntly what he was looking for as I’m not having random sex. He assured me he doesn’t want random sex and is looking to find someone he enjoys enough for forever. Yeah, yeah. That’s what they all say. I’ve just learned to be super upfront that I’m not just getting naked on date 1 or even 3 for that matter. We will see. He’ll be a welcome distraction if nothing else. Maybe I just need a bad date so I can embrace being alone.

Theres one other guy I’ve been actually engaging with on there. (Lots with random replies but mostly they all feel like dead ends.). We’ve had some decent conversations. He’s got a pretty unique name and eventually told me he’s a lawyer. Looked him up and he’s a super popular prosecutor where he lives. Interesting. No oilfield. Amazing. I plan to keep texting with him too. Just to see. The thought of someone with a brain, college education, etc. is an entertaining thought. Lose the almost felon for a prosecutor. Yeah, obviously I can do better than Cody. Far better. But I like him damn it. I’m not sure I like this guy beyond conversation but the conversation is good so I’ll take it.

Now for the arguing with the neighbor. I swear I’m going to lose my ever loving mind with these snobby, better than thou, people. They fucking suck.

I’m almost always home. Literally. Back in April the corner snob called the cops on my dogs barking. Cops came. I’d been at work and just got off. They were super cool and told me not to worry about it. The dogs barking from 7 am – 10 pm wasn’t a huge deal. Especially as I was putting forth the effort to have them in before 10 every night. Dumb bitch told the cops I’d had them locked outside all day without food/water. The officer was like – Ummm, clearly that can’t be true as they’re barking at me through the window. I have a dog door dumbass. They come in/out all day long. I texted her then on messenger and confronted her. Advised if she had a real problem to let me know.

I then made accommodations as I don’t want to be that asshole ruining everyone’s peace. I got bark training collars until they quit barking. I started making sure they were in by 9:30 or earlier. I put up a second fence of chicken wire so they couldn’t run the back fence line which was when they were barking at the neighbors. I also started working fully remote and am always home so I could correct behavior if needed. I’m literally gone from my house 10-20 hours a week maximum. Other than that, I’m right here.

The main thing I noticed is my dogs aren’t barking as the neighbors claimed. They are silent unless someone is walking by with dogs or the neighbor kids are fucking around at the fence. Half the time they’re inside sleeping. (I have 3 dogs – they’re 12, 7 and 6. They’re old. They sleep.) I’ve been annoyed by that for awhile. They had me thinking my dogs were barking 8 hours straight and they may bark an entire hour combined out of a 24 hour period.

So dumbass texts me about 4 pm and tells me if I don’t get my dog to quit barking today he’s calling in a public nuisance. I’ve been gone less than 3 hours as I ran to Walmart and am almost home. My dog was sleeping when I left. (He only blames the one for barking ever.). I have cameras and nobody is barking when I get said text. I get home and sit in my car for almost an hour. My dogs don’t bark once. Wtf? I text another neighbor who says she and her husband haven’t heard them all day.

Dogs bark. They obviously aren’t barking incessantly. But yeah. They’re going to bark sometimes. I’m done at this point. I cried through my book for 2 hours, I’m hurt I had no friends that would go with me to Walmart, I’m pissed Cody isn’t responding. I’m pissed my Grandpa is dead. Really, I’m just full of anger and hate. And that text was enough to send me over the edge of being a rude psycho.

Call the cops. I don’t fucking care. I’m done making accommodations for you. I have cameras. My dogs aren’t fucking barking endlessly. They aren’t even barking enough to be considered a nuisance at this point. I’m home nearly 24 hours a day. I’ve been gone for 2 hours. They weren’t barking when I checked the cameras. I’ve made all the adjustments needed when the cops were called in April and the officer told me I was FINE. Go for it. Do what you need to do. Because I don’t care about much these days and I really don’t care about your feelings.

Dumbass replies back a public nuisance is different than a noise complaint. He’s giving me a text as a courtesy before he does it. My dog barks every night from 6-10. He has cameras too and will record for evidence.

Im-fucking-possible. I’m home 5 nights a week. He isn’t barking. Maybe a minute here or there but not endlessly. If it’s more than a minute I always yell and he comes. I do work two nights a week. I’m home by 9:30 and the dogs are all inside sleeping when I get home. Half the time I close the dog door and they’re inside the whole time I’m gone working. Could they be barking from 6-9 maybe. But it’s TWO days a week and my other neighbor reports she’s had no issues with them barking in months. So again, call the cops, file your nuisance complaint. Do what you need to do. What you’re saying isn’t accurate which I can prove. And like I said before – I don’t really fucking care. I’ll deal with the police or judge. But thanks for the courtesy and I’m sorry you’re a miserable person.

He quit texting. I then went for my anger filled walk. I hate the majority of my neighbors. Hate them. I wanted this house so badly but never considered the repercussions of living in the “rich” neighborhood. I got an excellent deal on my house. It was a dream come true. But my friends were all like “you’re moving to Snob Knob hill”. I laughed at them. Now. Now I love my house but hate the snobs. They think they’re special. Their kids are special. Everyone is fucking special and I’m just trash as I’m divorced, a waitress and don’t keep my yard as pretty as theirs. (If they only realized I have a real job too and make just as much as they do.)

Sigh. We’ll see if the cops come at some point or if it was just a drunk threat – and yes, I’m sure he was drunk at 4 pm. And I’m the loser? Fuck. I really don’t care but dealing with it gives me anxiety. I just want to be left alone damn it.

Alright, that’s all I’ve got. I’m going to go attempt to get my walk in before the beer date. 3 fast paced miles hopefully. We’ll see how this day goes.