09/28/2012

I’m sad to say that Mental Health it is. Not sure what I think of that. I was finally starting to look forward to working at the prison and having a change of pace. Now that’s not going to be. I have a lot of mixed emotions.

The prison pays $13.34/hr. This would equal out to $2134/month. The prison has great insurance.

Mental health currently pays $1834/month. Mental health doesn’t have great insurance for adding the kids. I also make $425/month to clean. So, essentially I make $2259/month here.

So, yesterday Mental Health finally made me an offer $12.82/hour plus cleaning. It just wasn’t enough. I would still make more at the prison. I turned it down. When I did turn it down my boss said "Well, we will see about cleaning. Employees have first chance. Blah. Blah. Blah." WTF? I had originally been told I could continue cleaning either way. Without that cleaning money I’m out $425 a month. GRRRRRRR. Needless to say I was pissed. Whatever.

Mental Health called back today with a new offer. $13.60/hour plus cleaning & a $100 raise to do the cleaning. So that brings us to $2818.60. I’d be loosing over $600/month taking the prison job. That seems stupid to even consider. So, I took mental health’s offer.

I’m sad. I hated having to call the guy at the prison and tell him this. It all just sucks.  Bad.  I did call though and it went good.  I guess.

I was really looking forward to a change of pace.  I had talked myself into maybe liking it.  Something new.  Something different.  Ugh.  Why does it all always have to be so complicated?

My anxiety is through the freaking roof.  Bad.  Beyond bad.  I’ve been having non stop panic attacks, the overall anxiety feeling, it’s not been pretty.  All over this job stuff.  I’m getting REALLY tired of it.

Have my med appointment at 2 today (30 minutes)  I’m hoping she’ll be able to give me SOMETHING that will actually work.  Anything.  I’m beyond desperate for relief.

 But looks like this entry will be short too.  For some reason it keeps messing up. I type a couple sentences and then it suddenly puts the cursor back at the front of the line.  And it’s beyond frustrating to have to keep deleting letters & repositioning the cursor where it’s supposed to be.  UGH.