Unedited Nonsense: TP and Longboard Edition

 Oh man, I just went to a going away thing for my boss on the third floor where I used to work.  Almost didn’t, because TP is down there, but I bitched out on her going away lunch yesterday because I was way too out of it to try to interact with people I don’t know very well.

Didn’t run into TP, thank the LORD.  I don’t think I ever talked about why I officially just started ignoring him, but basically I decided I hate the way he talks about women.  We were chatting about CraigsList "strictly platonic," and he told me he’s fucked 4 girls from there, and I was like "um why don’t you just go to the Fuck Me section" and he was all IT JUST HAPPENED and I was all YOU JUST HAPPEN TO ONLY MEET HOT GIRLS IN STRICTLY PLATONIC, EH?!
 
Then he said something about his latest excursion on there.  How he wanted to go to shows with someone, and found this girl with a lot of bands in common.  And then he saw her Facebook and was "super bummed" because she turned out to be hot.
 
Um.
 
Kay.
 
I waited a couple hours, didn’t even really know what that meant.  Finally said, "What, so you just HAD to fuck her?"
 
And his answer was basically yes.  That he was disappointed because they never make it to shows.  Because she’s hot.  Therefore he has to fuck her.
 
I’m just.  Wow.  Just fucking disgusted and appalled and I don’t feel like he even deserves a reason why I’m not talking to him anymore because that’s fucking gross.  Fucking.  Gross.
 
And he really has no idea why, either.  Why it’s disgusting to no longer see a woman as a human being simply because you would enjoy putting your penis inside her.
 
Augh.  I’ve never been so fucking horrified by something one of my FRIENDS has said.  So, in short, he’s not my fucking friend anymore.
 
But his boss, Josh, is having a going-away thing on Monday and I totally just said I’d go (I don’t know him well, but every interaction I’ve had with him is positive and he seems like a really good guy), but TP is DEFINITELY gonna be at that thing.
 
Might hit up… Hm.  If I’m gonna make this dude my friend legit, I should probably nickname him.  Let’s call him…  Ha ha, let’s call him Longboard, even though he doesn’t longboard.  We got into a discussion about it because I thought I saw him on a longboard, and also he has long hair, so there.
 
Anyway, I might… I don’t know.  The only way I can see myself hitting up this going away thing is if I got Longboard’s number and asked him to text me when TP leaves.  But he and TP have hung out once or twice, I think, and I don’t want to cause some stupid drama there, so I might just have to… either skip it, or suck it up and say something to TP.
 
(I am always so thrilled that I gave him a gross nickname to begin with, ha ha.  NAILED IT.  In case you’ve forgotten, it was originally short for Twin Peaks, since he has a name that reminds me of the show.  Now it’s very clearly short for [shit-stained] Toilet Paper.)
 
I was writing about other stuff before I had to go do this thing, but I’ll save that for later.
 
ONE MORE THING: My boss, whose retirement party it was, asked me if I want the job, and I was like, you know, a diplomatic "I love the company and I’d love to work for you guys somewhere" kind of  answer.  And she told me that if I wanted this job, it would be mine.  That everyone’s said "wonderful things" about me.
 
I have barely spoken to anyone!  This is nuts!  I show up late every damn day and leave early!  I watch panel shows all day while I work!  I’m a hot mess!  But I type fast and I sound smart so I guess that’s enough, eh?
 
Oh, so I heard through the grapevine (TP) a couple months ago that Longboard likes me or something.  Er.  Yeah.  One of my former bosses was trying to get him to ask me out, since at the time I didn’t officially have a boyfriend and so I never mentioned it.  He was honestly trying to help Longboard out, and I don’t mind, but it is a bit awkward.  But Longboard doesn’t strike me as the type to, say, dehumanize all attractive women, so I don’t mind the possibility that he likes me.  I’ve been clear about my relationship on Facebook, make references occasionally, and sometimes I’ve been explicit about it simply because I know he sees it and I want to indirectly make it clear that I’m not available.  That way if we DO hang out, I don’t have to worry.
 
But because TP has fucked me up, I’m going to be extra-extra cautious and not hang out with him alone for at least a while.  I have finally convinced The Bro + Co. to tentatively agree to meeting him, which will drop off the map the moment we actually schedule something, but I’m trying.  I’M TRYING HARD.
 
Also he lives like 6 blocks from me so it’s super convenient.
 
Christ, long, okay bye now