Ennui.

Uggggghhhhhhhhhhh.  Feeling kinda shitty suddenly.  Probably doesn’t help that I haven’t eaten all day.

So I’m hanging with TP tonight instead of Sunday.  Then I’m going to Portland tomorrow with The Bro + Co.  DW’s not, which means it will have been a FULL WEEK since I’ve had sex by the time I see him again.  Laaaaaaaaaame.  The thought of not seeing him all weekend is kinda getting me down, but oh well.  I think I need to get used to this.  Separate from him in increments to see how it feels.  It’s not super easy, but it could be much, much harder.

I’m just worn out right now.  Being bored all fucking day every day just… emotionally drains me.  I just don’t know what else to do, man.

The urge to cancel on TP to see DW tonight is happening in my head, but I’ll resist, because that’s stupid and lame.  STUPID AND LAME.

Biting my nails again.  Running out of money.  Don’t know what to do with my LIFE.

Christ, I’m uplifting!

Okay, Jess. This shit is in your head.  You will have fun with this potential new friend and you will continue on as you always do and things will get better and worse and better and worse and that’s just LIFE, man.  Roll with it.  Take the pleasure where it comes.  Stop whining.  DEAL WITH IT.

Okay, that didn’t help much BUT IT WILL IF I KEEP REPEATING IT IN MY HEAD