Breaking Dwarf. * *

You guys.  I am trying to catch up on Breaking Bad right now and holy shit.

As I find myself clutching my legs to my chest, biting my knee and praying for imaginary characters like I’ve never prayed for a real person in my life, I think, "gee, this is probably a sign of some good writing" and then I burst into stress tears.

I CAN’T HANDLE THIS MUCH AWESOME

 

 

 

 

 

* God.  Damnit.  I just caught up, and now I have one episode left to watch–the one that aired tonight.

This has gotten… insane.  But

 

 

—SPOILERS—

 

There’s a part of me that, despite the 5 seasons of lead-up, is still slightly disappointed with… Hrm.  With the way Walt is talking to his wife on the phone, honestly.  He went from…  I don’t know.  I guess it makes sense.  It does.  Because in his head, to lie so much to someone you claim to love, you HAVE to believe they’re a lesser person, that you know better, that you are right and they are wrong and you have to "do what’s best" for them.  But to suddenly snap, start insulting and degrading her…

But then I remember… Was it season 3?  The season where he was practically rape-married to her?  Where he weaseled his way into her home again, subtly threatened her, and even as she told him that he was ONLY here because she was afraid of him, he still accepted that as admittance to her bed?

It makes sense.  It does.  But it just.  I don’t know.

Augh.  That season was the hardest.  The most disgusting for me.  Your wife is telling you she’s afraid of you, she doesn’t love you, that you have blackmailed your way into her home, and you lie down beside her and put your arms around her like nothing is wrong.

That season made me nauseous.  I had nightmares.

Not the outright scary kind, but… The worst kind.

You probably know the kind.

I’ve been having some lately and.  I don’t know.  It makes me afraid to sleep.

Anyway, this show is amazing, brb watching tonight’s ep and probably crying through most of it.  I cried during this latest episode when (MORE SPOILERS) he attacked his wife, his son protected her, and then he took the baby… Fuck.  Fuck fuck fuck fuck he’s a child, HE’S A CHILD AND HE SHOULDN’T HAVE TO DO THIS.

Goddamnit, Walt Jr.  This isn’t fair to you.

YEAH SO MAYBE I LOVE THESE FICTIONAL CHARACTERS MORE THAN REAL PEOPLE SO WHAT THAT’S JUST WHO I AM NOW

 

 

 

EDIT 2: HOLY SHIT WHY DO I EVER DOUBT THIS SHOW

LIKE EVER

okay still watching this latest episode, slightly drunk now, but goddamn, I feel like a TOOL for being all "well that seemed out of the blue, weird that he suddenly got even stupider than before" goddamnit breaking bad, GODDAMNIT YOU ALWAYS PLAY ME LIKE THIS