An Atheist Christmas FAQ

Why are you writing a Christmas FAQ?
Because Meg’s asleep and I feel Christmassy. [Note: I’m aware that there was a mass shooting in Connecticut today. I’m not going to talk about it tonight, though.]
What’s it like to be an atheist at Christmastime?
It feels like being a Christian at Christmastime, with less of the Jesus-being-born and more of the Santa-coming-to-town. Some people think that it’s purely a Christian holiday and that it’s being “taken over” by secularism, and they think that I shouldn’t celebrate Christmas, to which I say phooey.
Why celebrate Christmas if you’re an atheist?
I celebrate a wintertime celebration of family gatherings, feasts, presents, bright and twinkly lights, music, charity, and a slew of miscellaneous traditions. There’s plenty to enjoy without having to get into the Jesus birthday thing.
Why do you hate Baby Jesus anyway?
I don’t hate Baby Jesus. I just don’t think the event happened. There’s no convincing evidence that Jesus ever existed, much less that Yahweh impregnated a woman (who stayed a virgin after getting boned by a deity, mind you), that Herod was killing all the Jewish firstborn, that a star was over a particular building, and all the rest.
Are you going to tell your child about Santa Claus?
Hell yes. I’m eagerly anticipating lying through my teeth to my kid. It’ll be an interesting experiment in gullibility. Also, I’ll get to see childish wonder on his or her face, etc.
What’s your thought about the War on Christmas?
The war on Christmas is hyped up by the right-wing media. Generally, there are a number of atheist groups that fight the good fight to keep one-sided religious displays off public property, using the Establishment clause of the First Amendment. It isn’t all against Christmas. They also fight against cross monuments, like the one set up at the 9/11 Memorial in NYC, or the Ten Commandments in courthouses. They just get more attention this time of year. Sometimes they win, sometimes they don’t. In general, I support them. Public displays shouldn’t give preferential treatment to any one religion—and should stay out of the religion business altogether in my opinion. I suspect most religious people tend to agree—they don’t want to the government getting involved in their religion, either.
Merry Christmas or Happy Holidays?
I’m don’t mind either one. I’m not going to melt if I say “Christ” too much. Merry Christmas (or Happy Christmas) is more traditional, but Happy Holidays is less presumptuous. Plus, I get two and a half holidays off from work, so it really plural for me.
On the other hand, December 25 is one day out of the year. Sure, the shopping season starts on Thanksgiving evening now, and people treat this time of the year as if it is a month-and-a-half long holiday in itself. So why say “Merry Christmas” on any day other than December 25? I think most people say it good-naturedly, though, and I can’t fault them for getting excited ahead of time.
Do you go to a church service, or mass, or something?
Nope. I used to, but then I grew up. Some of the music and traditions are pleasant though. I like Handel’s Messiah and Bach’s Christmas Oratorio, and so on.
What are charities are you giving to this year?
Meg and I are thinking about the Humane Society of Arizona, Heifer International, and This American Life.
What are you getting Meg this year?
Wouldn’t you like to know.