Mambo Number Five

I’ve felt lazy the last couple of days. I want to translate the second chapter of this book and I might do that tonight. I haven’t turned on my phone in days. The more I think about it the most likely place that ‘David’ is right now is dead and if he were would anyone even bother with a funeral? I can’t really imagine him even trying to wiggle his way out of all the crimes he’s committed and things really have got quiet around here like their last ditch efforts to surveil my life and kill me have ended: his last such effort was stealing the replacement Santander bank card that I requested when I was back in Massachusetts. Hopefully my mother eventually catches on that he stole my passport *and* my bank card and if that’s all she knew about his criminal activity that would be like her finding out that Jeffrey Dahmer sneezed.

My mother’s ‘sister’ Nancy abused me along with her ex-boyfriend James Powers (who has been dead for years) with David’s blessing and she knows he’s an evil person but she is too and as long as he’s with her sister she is safe so she lets her sister and her sister’s whole family live like this! The truth is a whole lot of people abused me with his blessing and if he’s dead (and I wish he were in jail so I could taunt him with what a stupid loser he is but I think he’s most likely dead) my mother is going to start finding out that, yes, when I came to her scared and tried to tell her that night that the guy we used to call Uncle Jimmy abused me, that really happened, and honestly, nobody in the family does a single thing for this particular bit of child abuse never mind all the others. My mother texts her sister to let her know it happened and she criminally responds that this surprises her because he was not ‘overly sexed’, and I mean, who *would* be dating someone like *her* but this is a kid we’re talking about and predators are predators and their sex drive has nothing to do with it and this is all so disgusting and it’s about time my mother knows it. If David were still alive of course he would so easily turn his back on everyone he duped to ‘get there’ and a lot of people deserve justice right now so I hope he is still alive and can suffer because people like Nancy need to be convicted and if her accomplice is dead who is going to make sure that happens?

I am feeling that there’s maybe a 50% chance he is dead. All I know is that whatever is going on in that town is something I do *not* want to be a part of at all and I’m scared of finding out what kind of drama has been going on around her but I feel like it’s likely that at least one person is dead and I wish she were in Puerto Rico away from all that madness.

You don’t hear people playing loud music from their houses here like in Mexico and I kind of miss that but you do hear things that sound like someone turning a radio dial and you wonder if it is some new Puerto Rican technology that has not been exported to the rest of the world yet because it doesn’t sound *quite* like a radio. I heard Taylor Swift for the first time a few days ago, it was one like, ‘players gonna play play play,’ and then it went onto a bunch of other sounds. I heard Del Shannon’s Runaway the other day which got me thinking how messed up things around there must be and I do not know how to risk turning on my phone again and finding out what is going on. I told him she has no idea how evil he is, I told her I think she’s going to find out soon and don’t be scared as it starts to happen, but now I am scared because a lot of people with a lot of horrible karma are probably freaking out right now and there’s no way my mother is not going to catch wind of something or other.

Yesterday I heard from a house across the street a single line on a radio system. The actor sounds like he might have been a character in the town of Mayberry and it is said in a tone like Billy Jonas’ father in that song where he says “pens do not disappear.” It was not an angry voice but a somewhat firm one and you could tell that the proprietor was trying to be patient: “Get out of my store.” There may have been a couple more words but that was the essence of it. It seems like pretty much all stores here have a sign that says “nos reservamos el derecho de admisión” and it felt like this was the first time someone might be exercising this right but it was clearly an audio clip. Still I walked out to my balcony and looked to the right to make sure there was not an actual store there (sometimes there are stores I never noticed and I’ve been here for months so you never know). There is no store there but then I looked to the left where the closest store is, the one where I buy Coke and tried to order breakfast once but she told me they didn’t have papas.

Today when I woke up someone played this song that my mother and I used to laugh about, Mambo Number Five by Lou Bega, because it had her name in it. (It also has in it a couple of names that sound like the names of characters in this book I am translating). By the way, of course I was being sarcastic when I quoted Alan Watts that I have ‘finally’ achieved the mark of an educated person in having every opportunity in the world to get paid to play. I always have, it’s just that those supposed family and such brimming with hate-filled jealousy who think they are protected because they work for a corporation so they can inflict all sorts of abuse on someone like me somehow never believe that it can be easy to enjoy life so whenever I do they try to hurt me any chance they get. I don’t believe that I have actually done anything that felt like ‘work’ for a dollar in my entire life, any time I have made a dollar it has felt like play and it’s about time we start creating schools to teach people to live this way. I can’t imagine what they think I do when I travel but it’s a whole lot better than what any of them imagine me doing, I’m sure. I’ve tried to tell them my whole life, just travel, just enjoy life, but people like Nancy who like to abuse kids waste away their aliveness working for greedy corporate conglomerates that they think will protect them from their  atrocities but all they end up doing is wasting their lives.

while I was walking out to get some drinks for maybe the first time I saw a hearse from the funeral business. It stopped in front of the business and turned off its ignition just as I was walking by and then I looked at the store where that clip was not coming from but it reminded me of it nonetheless. I had breakfast at a place I’d actually never thought to try before, an avocado toast, and then bought some pineapple juice, and the guy behind the counter asked if I lived nearby and I told him I live near the fisherman mural. He said he saw me walking the other day and he wiped his forehead for some reason. It was kind of funny because I am finally starting to get used to the heat and I have a really nice kitchen so I can take it…