Transient? Reversible?

Haven’t felt like writing.

Started a few entries on topics both big and small, but it was like tapping tiny volume depleted veins – you get that initial spurt but then the flow just stops. It’s a mix of not wanting to deal with things and not having the strength or attention span to just push through.

I’m not used to having our relationship challenged this way, but in a sense I knew this day would come. The day when I have others
competing, if not for my affection, then at the very least for my attention. Not just out in the external world, but in here, in my own mental space. I catch myself mentally putting pressure on him to make our time together worth my while. I know this feeling – I’ve felt it with boyfriends before, and it didn’t lead to good things. But to spend 3 years with someone without even a hint of feeling this way must count for something, right? So. Just a lackluster weekend (courtesy, perhaps, of the Valentine’s Day hype) or a sign that something between us has changed?