meh week

Off to Bmore tomorrow. Or as I told people at work, off to my mom’s 60th birthday celebration. WTF is wrong with me? FYI I think my mom’s 56. 

It’s been a pretty crummy week, overall. Monday was great; exciting, engaging. If only it hadn’t gone downhill so quickly. Got nothing done in the past three days and made a complete idiot out of myself in front of my boss. Honestly, I knew it was only a matter of time before he realized I’m not the valuable resource he thinks I am.

At least I’ve had lunch with friends every day of this week. My favorite part of the day, actually. Heard some good first day on the wards stories from my MD counterparts. Fainting in the OR, accidentally offering to do an unsupervised pelvic exam, things like that.

Also smoked some Hookah with T last night, and tried, but failed, to catch a musical at the MUNY (didn’t realize we had to show up super early to get the free seats). It turned out alright though. The weather was gorgeous, and E had brought cupcakes (made from scratch and delicious as usual) so we had a mini-picnic in the park. We made up an extensive list of things to do this summer, which was inspiring.

I mentioned in my previous entry that I’d started smoking "sort of." It’s true, I bought a pack from the little convenience store down the street last week. I swear the store clerk, whose seen me many times by now, looked disappointed. He actually carded me too. I’m 25, dude. But it all turned out surprisingly well. I only smoked 3 cigarettes from the pack before I made the decision that I did not want to be doing this and tossed the rest. For the past 1.5 years I’ve been fighting off cravings on a nearly daily basis. There was so much pressure not to slip, and when I finally did it felt awful, but strangely liberating at the same time. It was done, I could stop obsessing over it! And it wasn’t the end of the world. Nor was it the incredibly rewarding experience that would somehow solve all my problems that I had made it out to be in my mind. I’ve yet to regret throwing away that pack, and (amazingly) I’ve barely had any cravings. In fact,  I think I may be done with smoking for good 🙂

Bedtime for me now. Getting up at 5 am to clean my apartment so I don’t freak out B when he comes by to cat-sit.

I’ve been needing to get the fuck away from here for a while (I really really really should have taken a real vacation after boards). Here’s to a fantastic weekend w/ the boy.