groundhog day
A couple of weeks ago my friend AY called to announce her engagement. The thing about AY is that we hadn’t spoken in a year and probably haven’t had a real conversation since college (> 4 years ago). She was one of my favorite people in college, and we were rather close back then. At least I think so; she confided in me when she went through her first serious relationship, first love, and first heartbreak. I valued her advice on everything from boys to finding your passion in life. We would have these wonderfully insightful conversations that left me feeling like I was growing as a human being. But she had a million other friends in various circles, and vying for her attention became increasingly difficult and unpleasant for me. Still, after graduation she moved to DC and we kept in touch reasonably well until I moved out to the midwest. About a year after getting here I wrote her a catch-up email (she was traveling out of the country, so calling wasn’t an option). It was a page long, very open and honest update on my life, seeking her input on something, just like old times. Except she never responded. Never really acknowledged it in any way. Once, when I was visiting Baltimore and a whole bunch of us got together in a crowded bar I asked her about it in passing. She brushed it off, saying she’d been crazy busy and wasn’t really an email person. After that I had too much pride to keep making a serious effort to stay in touch, and apparently she didn’t feel the need to either, so we’ve spoken maybe twice while meeting up with mutual friends. She did include me on a mass invite to a housewarming party she and her now-fiance were holding last summer in DC. Obviously I was unable to attend since I was half way across the country, but the next time I was in Baltimore visiting J, I contacted her about catching up. No response.
Soo yeah. I’m happy for her of course, but at this point it’s like being happy for an acquaintance. I still wish we could reconnect sometimes, and I think we both made an effort when she called, but it was mildly awkward and just not the same. Oh wells. I will say, out of my close group of college friends, I was not expecting AY to get married first. Neither was she – she mentioned the proposal totally caught her by surprise, and that she didn’t think she would get married for at least another few years. But her fiance (they’ve been dating for 2 years) said that he’s known he wanted to marry her for a while now, and he didn’t want her to be in a position where people were asking why it hadn’t happened yet. Also, their grandparents are getting older and it would be nice for them to attend the wedding. Sounds like a pretty considerate guy. I’ve met him twice but never got the chance to really talk or get to know him. So I’ll just assume they’re great together and will live happily ever after.
On a a final parting note, I learned today that groundhogs are the same animals as woodchucks. Mind. Blown.