A bad day is…
CW: 99.2 lbs / 45 kg
BMI: 16.0
A bad day is…
when you realize at the moment you woke up that you shouldn’t have gotten out of bed.
when you have no ability to focus on anything except the hope for a binge
when you spend $30 on binge food
when you b/p 3 times
when you become afraid to eat
when you have 2 panic attacks within an hour of each other
when you realize there is no one within a 60 mile radius that you feel safe to call to sit with you
when you have one of these panic attacks on the phone with your therapist
when your head is pounding
when your throat is burning
when you miss the class that only meets once a week
when you can’t write the essay that is due tomorrow
when you realize your meds are no longer working to soothe the anxiety
when your weight is dropping and it thrills and scares you all at once
when you want to reach out and accept help but the ED pins you down
when you realize you just may not be able to do it on your own…
I’ve spent the past 90 minutes trying to convince myself to go downstairs and eat something safe, healthy and nutritious and to keep it down.
It’s only 6pm. When will the day be over?
~Rachel
a bad day indeed! please o please be careful!!!! a bmi of 16.0 is sooo low…i really hope you get feeling better SOON ****hugs**** sounds like you could use them right about now.
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i think everyones had a bad day today, wish i had ur BMI, lol that just made it worse >.<
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*hugs* im so sorry your day has been so horrible hun … hope everything gets better xoxoxo
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aww hun…try to eat a healthy supper…i KNOW you can do it because i’ve read your entries. i know you can go days without bingeing (even if it’s hard) and i know you can eat healthy food and keep it down. try hun…don’t strain that chest muscle any worse. take care hun, and keep your chin up. <3
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RYN: lol thats a bit freaky haha thanx for your kind note. *hugz* take care bubba ..
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I’m sorry you’ve had such a bad day. I hope your not trying to lose more though, are you? 99lbs is a dream to some people but it’s also very underweight (assuming you’re not like 4’11 or something)
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bad days all round at the moment. take care. at least its only a bad day… things can all change tomorrow
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oh wow hon that’s not just a bad day, it’s a terrible day. i really hope you were able to eat something (since it’s the next morning when i read this) well, i hope things start looking up for you *lots of bear hugs* take care of yourself.
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Hugs Im having a bad day too
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ryn: i wish i could just let it go…enjoy life and enjoy all my successes and find out my passions/what i want to study/be when i “grow up” but it’s so frustrating when i can’t get past my own negative self-image…but we can do this hun…take care, <3
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