Moving on Broken Strings

This truly feels like I’m drowning myself into old habits while moving forward with steps in my life that feel long overdue, but are now in course. Those steps being that I am officially set to move at the end of this month.

I haven’t spoken to Kyle in over a month. He strongly urged that, in order for me to not circle the drain (once again) and get high, that I back away not only from meaningless sex, but that I also separate myself from Jose. Jose was a kind individual whose relationship I did not think would transpire to be anything aside from a quick hook-up. Naturally, I distanced myself from him and got more consumed by whatever it is I think I’m getting from Jose. And Luca. And Bobby. And Gio. And Jason. And now Danny.

To think, though, that I will at least be taking the burden of wanting love away from my family and into a home of other recovering addicts. These new roommates will see me for who I am, but they will understand. I will learn to fail.