scarred for life

i am pretty sure someone broke into my house last night and drove truck over me.

i woke up feeling like both of my lungs were in a vice and like my throat was under water.

my head was killing me and i was so. damn. cold.

it was probably from hanging out outside on new year’s eve.

luckily chewie got up when isaiah woke up and madaya slept until noon.

(she doesn’t have a regular sleep schedule at her dad’s house so she crashes. she slept for 14 hours last night).

i think i finally got out of bed after 1:00.

death had become me.

i slowly made my way downstairs and curled up on the couch while the kids played wii.

my head continued to pound.

i took some aleve.

then i got up to go take a long hot shower to try to loosen up my chest.

and then it happened.

i was turning around to grab the shampoo when my forehead made solid contact with the wall. as if my pounding headache wasn’t bad enough….

i screamed in pain. i let my head fall back into the wall as i tried to tolerate the pain.

i reached up to my forehead and pulled my hand down, full of blood.

for some reason seeing the blood made the pain more intense.

i reached up to feel where my peircing was.

and sure as shit the fucker ripped out when it made contact with the tile.

the thing about the peircing is that there were holes in the anchor that was set under the skin where flesh was supposed to grow through and set the peircing. those were were completely ripped through.

then i was sad about the loss of my peircing. i am going to miss it.

the duration of the shower wasn’t very pleasant. the pain from the mishap continued as did my origional discomfort.

if one more person makes a comment about the scar the peircing is going to leave, i am going to punch them in the face.

the reason i got the peircing there in the first place was to cover a scar left by my ex. i never explained that beforehand but i didn’t feel i had to, either.

everyone keeps looking at me telling me how bad its going to be and how ugly it will be.

yeah.

okay.

i prefer this scar to the scar that was there before.

but thanks.

obviously i knew about the propensity for scarring prior to getting it done and didn’t care.

i spent the rest of my day in my pajamas trying to stave off a massive headache.

i still feel awful.

and sad.

back to looking at my scar every day.

i’m going to bed.