(mostly) happy updates

a couple people asked when the DWIs will come off my record or whether I could expunge them from my record. the sad fact is that they will never come off my record because they are criminal charges, not traffic violations. and the other sad fact is that in minnesota (at least as far as my research has shown) you can’t expunge DWIs from a record because they are compoundable offenses…which means that if i were to get another DWI in the future, not only would i willingly walk off a bridge, my charges would be predicated upon the presence of previous DWIs.

and i also know that you can’t even begin the expungement process until you are no longer on probation. and since my probation was 4 years, i still have a little ways to go – nothing that could help me in my current employment issues.
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so let’s talk about wedding stuff because that is (mostly) happy.

originally chewie and i landed on an october 16, 2010 wedding date.

i can’t remember if i wrote about it or not. but october 16, 1936 was when my grandparents were married. and since both of them have passed, and since both of them mean the world to me, i thought it would be fantastic to honor them and share the special day  with their anniversary.

we liked the idea of a fall wedding and the date otherwise seemed to be clear of other conflicts like holidays, vacations, start of school for isaiah, etc.

well, two people shit on that parade.

chewie’s dad has some sort of work conference in san francisco next year in october. he doesn’t know the date of it and won’t know until next summer, a couple months before the would-be wedding.

i was tempted to say "who cares?" and proceed with planning because he is the one that doesn’t support our marriage anyway. but of course, that is not a very good first impression to make towards his family, who are not aware of what a jackass his dad is being regarding the wedding in the first place.

the second person that shit on the parade? well, could you have guessed it was the devil herself, lyndsey.

i guess i have to get used to the fact that she will be spending the next 12 years fucking up my life, so this is really an exercise in learning to suck it up.

she pranced down the sidewalk the other day and announced that she had heard the "good news" from isaiah about the wedding. then she told chewie that she hopes he chose a date that would fall on "our" weekend and not hers.

which is ridiculous in and of itself. because no, the date doesn’t fall on our normal weekend. but first of all, it’s over a year away. who knows what might change between now and then. and second of all, if isaiah’s dad is getting married, you can gauran-fucking-tee that isaiah will be at the wedding.

unless lyndsey and troy get married at the same time, that is.

which according to lyndsey, they might be doing. they have narrowed their wedding date to october of next year as well. who knew they were even engaged, anyway?

so a couple of thoughts go through my mind here: one is that i am not going to run the risk of that bitch even thinking about ruining my wedding or making it so that isaiah can’t be there. because saddly, for her, it is more important for her to try to ruin our day that it is for her to focus on making her own day special.

bets on how long that marriage is gonna last???

and second, since none of the other idiot adults in this scenario will consider isaiah’s well being, i have to. and it occurred to me that isaiah having both of his parents remarry within the same month, or god for bid on back-to-back weekends could be tough on the little guy.

the good news is, isaiah and i have a great relationship, and it appears that isaiah gets along well with troy as well. isaiah is viewing these things as positive changes. and the other piece of good news is that chewie and i already live together, and so do lyndsey and troy (and grandma and two uncles) so from isaiah’s world, not a lot will change.

but it might be tough for him to grasp the concept of step parents, or new sets of grandparents, or how much has family has just grown in the blink of an eye.

so, i decided that a wedding would not happen on october 16.

i was close to signing a contract with the reception site and nailing down the date. i had my colors picked out and was day dreaming about the cake and the flowers and the favors.

so when all this went down, we were back to square one.

i said this entry was mostly happy updates, didn’t i?

well, i guess i was slightly wrong.

but here comes the happy:

after a couple weeks in limbo, i have circled the wagons again and gotten a grasp on the wedding.

and here is what we know:

winter wedding in a reception hall with vaulted wood ceilings and exposed wood beams. two sided stone fireplace. floor to ceiling windows around the entire space over looking what will be a frozen snow covered lake. the grounds of the facility will be decorated in winter lights and the walkways will be lined with ice candles. the outdoor fire pit on the lake shore will also be lit. we will have a two-level reception site all to ourselves for the entire day.

the colors are black, white, and red with some strategic splashes of silver. the reception and the ceremony will be overwhelmed with glowing candles and white strands of christmas lights. the lighting will be dim, and the candles and decorations and fireplace will provide a beautiful warm glow. the ceremony will be at dusk when the sun drops just below the horizon and casts a glow across the snow outside making it sparkle in the light.

we will ride off on a horse-drawn sleigh. we will serve our guests hot chocolate as one of the late-night treats.

it will be warm, romantic, elegant, and perfect.

and we will get married on 1-22-11 or 1-29-11.

i can’t wait.