To Rapunzelish …

I adore the picture on your front page

you always give me something to think on 🙂

I’ll throw in my 2 cents. When you have a need in your life and seek for a lover to fulfill it, then once they have and you don’t need them anymore the relationship has lost its purpose. I never thought your entry was about whether one needs companionship, but about whether one is seeking another to fulfill needs that oneself should be seeking to fulfill through emotional development.

Nunzio, You complete me. Shannon (hee hee, sorry…couldn’t resist.) Seriously, you’re right, but I like narcotics.

i think i agree with what you said. what a truly wonderful gift to be able to give. not always so easy however. (saw your note over on someone elses diary and went to the link left..loved it!! so, had to come read a bit. glad i did. )

ryn: I’m glad you liked it. I had to think about and look at what note I left for you to say that. Found it and I still hold it true to me. 🙂

wow – you write this almost as if – as if it were possible to have a . . . a . . . MATURE relationship. REALLY? It’s possible? *smacks self of forehead* who’d a thunk it? Sh*t let me throw away my Seventeen magazines and subscribe to YOU. (heeheehee) Seriously though – word.

I had a boyfriend break up with me after 2 years of living together because I told him I loved him and wanted him, but I didn’t need him. I thought it was the most beautiful thing in the world to choose someone to be in my life because I wanted him to be there, but he thought I would dump him because I didn’t need him to be there. Some people just don’t get it.

I think (and could be wrong, of course) what Rapunzelish was getting at is that everyone needs affirmations of love from other people, and it’s unhealthy to say otherwise. You want to be able to affect someone, and if you can’t, then how can you call it love? Wouldn’t it just be a good friendship? Or apathy even?

and RYN: you’re welcome. =)

I completely agree; and completely disagree. I’d like a little “need” for a change, Nunzo-Baby. Seriously. I would. –Red

*Does a little happy dance* because I fit in to your run on sentence. *dances some more*

It’s my view you cannot have a healthy love based on “need.” <—I couldn't agree with this more! I remember this starting/ending several fights with the ex husband. He wanted me to “need” him….and I didn’t. He could never understand the concept that I was with him by CHOICE and not need. He used to get really pissed off when I refused to admit needing him. ~sigh~ I need a mature MAN!

ryn: LOL, Going to get more Salt & Vinegar chips.

wow sometimes you make me feel so dumb when you point out the obvious that i had to learn the hard way LOL

RYN: Thank you hun. Very much appreciated. I know it is because of how I treat them with care and consideration – even when it may not necessarily be something I would want to discuss. I suppose in it’s own backwards way, it is a compliment. ~smiles~

yep, that works for me. *lol* tc M

“When I speak of achieving the “absence of need,” I’m speaking of eliminating that sickly, dependent, unhealthy, narcotic, need of another that some define as “love.” That definition of love diminishes both parties and dooms the relationship.” I couldn’t have said it better myself. No really, I couldn’t have. =) xoxoxo,

(((Hugs))) =)

Ryn: Everything went well! : )

I am well aware of Maslow’s needs. Dr.’s point was that for “sexual” beings (like me — he has known me for 13 years and says I always have been, always will be — it is not going to “die” like I’d hoped), sex is closer to the “basic needs” level than it is to the “self-actualized” level. That was my only point.

RYN: LMAO! That is by far the best note ever!

Hello, Thanks so much for the google info on Jesus H. Christ. I had completely forgotten that my diary was private, but Red pointed me in the direction of your note on hers. Thanks again for indulging in my random curiosity. Warm regards & take care,

Well done. I had seen this when it was new and couldn’t read as I had other stuff pressing on my time. So glad I remembered and came back. I had written a Want vs Need entry that got lost with the crash. I completely agree with you. My opinions on the matter were quite the source of argument by the ex. He thought I should need him. sad.

Ryn: Only if you’ll pinch my nipples while we’re doing it. I just read something about that in LB’s diary and now I’m…well, you know… Oh damnit, now I’m calling your number. Hope you’re home!

*random noter* this is what I have been striving for… the lack of need… i get closer and closer to it with each of my relationships, but i’ve yet to achieve it

RYN: Oh, shush. 😛

I second Red… Still, God help me, there is just no way I can refute this wisdom anymore.

Well said, dear Nunzio….. so many of us “shop” for lovers based on our insecurities, looking for them to plug the holes…….instead of looking for one who brings strength to the relationship and encourages our own growth. I’ve raised my children, I will not raise a man who claims to love me and need me to breathe……. been there, done that and left him….as he clung to my ankles.

Merry Christmas!

Well said!! I hope you had a wonderful Christmas Day…. *Merry Christmas hugs*

RYN: I said it in an entry before. 🙂

RYN: Thank you, Thank you. It was all pretty last minute Husband only decided onit a few days before, I’ve never cooked goose before, he’s never had it before, so it was fun for both of us. Hope you had a wonderful christmas. Next year I’ll be sending out invites. 🙂

Ryn: : P

Ryn: Eight days…three calls, maybe five minutes each. I just NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEED MORE!!! The touching (at least) three times daily may be enough to keep me interested though…maybe.

Ryn: What AREN’T you horny for? hee hee.

^ pee? maybe? tell us, Nunzio.

Ryn: Oh shut up, Nunzio. I had all the redness on my upper lip the day after. The blisters (on my nose!) are from the skin irritation, not a cold sore. Wrong place. Bite me!

Ryn: FINE! I will call as soon as I can! There…happy?

Fair enough. I still think you sound like a self-help book, but at least you’re not a misogynist. 🙂 For the record, I would be mad if jackass did that. Not because of abandonment issues from my childhood, but because it’s disrespectful. The good news is, jackass wouldn’t do it. I’ve trained him too well for that.

I don’t disagree with the end result. I disagree with the pop psychology. You speculate a lot on why someone might REACT emotionally. I think the why is irrelevant and that learning to think rather than react is simply a matter of practice, not digging deeper into one’s psyche. Psychology is an excuse, not a solution. And that’s just one woman’s opinion – the right one.:)

ryn: i think mine’ll be one of the above 3, but ok… remind me 🙂

It’s cute how eternally polite you are. It makes me want to push buttons.

Nunzio, I thought of you today…..and made note of it. Entry: Why?

RYN: You are welcome and thank you for “growing me” through your words and pointing me in the direction of the author in my entry!

Ooh I say. I have stumbled upon a great diary….

Well said. Again thank you.

I keep coming back to this.

This was lovely to read and so true. Not that knowing the truth has stopped me from miscommunication or improper use of the word “need” but I try. =) Rapunzel must be playing with her hair in her ivory tower. Did she ever leave a response?