I was growing more perturbed with her … *Edit*

(Edit at the bottom)
 
every time I saw her!
 
She’s frequently at the Starbucks I go to 3 – 4 times a week. She gets there about the same time I do, about 6:00 AM.
 
She’s an older woman, always clean but dressed in older clothes that are frequently too young, or too tight for her. She’s not homeless but kind of has the look like she may have been at one time.
 
If she gets there before I do, she takes my chair, the big plushy one, the one right in the corner where you can see everything going on. There’s another chair just like it right next to it, separated by a coffee table, but that one is less desirable because it’s not in the corner.
 
She never buys anything but instead, looks for discarded cups in the trash, rinses them out, then mixes up a concoction of (free) milk and sugar from the condiment counter and returns to the desirable chair … the one I want, and just sits there, sipping her free sugar/milk combination!
 
Sometimes, while waiting and sipping, she goes to the bathroom and stays in there for 20 – 30 minutes, intentionally leaving the door unlocked! I’ve seen people unknowingly walk in on her many times. It’s as though she finds it entertaining.
 
From the bathroom, she returns to my chair and waits for someone to discard a newspaper, moving quickly to pick it up.
 
Sometimes she just starts talking to me or someone else out of the blue, interrupting our quite reading of the paper with some nonsensical, or insignificant thing.
 
Well, I’d had it with the freeloading bitch this morning. I’d awakened a little earlier than usual and found myself thinking of her and rushing a bit to beat her to my chair.
 
God DAMN IT!
 
She was there … in my chair! 
 
NOW I’m pissed. 5:45 in the Goddamn morning and she’s in my chair! FUCK!
 
“Let me get my coffee and then I’m going to say something to that milk stealing, sugar stealing, paper stealing, bathroom using, takes the best chair, freeloading bitch,” I thought.
 
I greeted the Starbucks clerk with a smile, “A large coffee please.” I waited as she poured it. She pushed it across the counter towards me as I handed her the money. 
 
Then, I saw it …
 
She’d pushed the cup towards me, accidently (?) lined up so that I could read the side of it.
 
I took a sip and started reading as I waited for my change …
 
 
 
The Way I See It #114
 (Link)

“I try to go through my days without
Judging.  I can’t pretend to know
what is going on in anyone else’s
life but my own.  I am
compassionate and meet people on
a human level.  We all just crave to
be loved as who we are.  Talk to the
next unfamiliar face you see or
brighten someone’s day with a
smile.  Live with peace in your
heart and bright light in your soul.”
 
— LeAnn Rimes, Musician
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
God!
 
When will I learn?
 
How long will it take me?
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All the reading, all the studying, all the aspirations to be a better man; to be kind and helpful, to not judge, to be compassionate … to see the world as Jesus did …
 
WHEN WILL I LOSE MY EGO?
 
God?
 
GOD?
 
GOD!
 
And on this day … of all days!

 

 

Anne Geddes
 9365

 
 
Edit 5/19/2006 @ 07:33:07
 
Ha!
 
You guys crack me up!
 
“What did I do?”
 
“Introduce myself?”
 
“Brighten her day?”
 
Waddya, faahkin nuts? (Said in my best New York, Italian accent.)
 
I did her and myself a favor. I went over to the condiment table, stirred in a pack of Sweet-‘N-Low, put the lid back on and … walked out the door!
 
I was so shocked to read the message on my coffee cup in the state of mind I was in, as well as embarrassed by my attack thinking, that I went straight home to read my paper on my deck, by myself, where I couldn’t damage anyone with a hurtful comment, and ended up writing this entry.
 
After I debriefed with myself, I realized what was going on for me. I awakened early because I’ve been under some pressure recently, nothing bad, just business, and realized it was the fear of losing a client that was the real culprit.
 
One thing about the whole experience I am pleased with … I didn’t do damage. By that I mean, I didn’t say anything. I’m sure I must have transmitted my disapproval of her through my body language over the past weeks and months. Something I’m going to remedy.
 
With each experience like this, I learn. I am pleased the learning comes quickly! In this case, just seconds. Maybe one day, I won’t even have the thoughts, I won’t even experience the fear.
 
I hope.
 
“Fear,” an amazing wrecker of relationships.
 
"Your attitude, your actions, your comment – will it add to the sadness and hurt of someone and thereby, the world? Or, will it add to the love and kindness which might heal us and make us whole? It’s your choice."  
(More Random Acts of Kindness.)
 
Best wishes and …
 
God bless,
 
Nunzio

 
PS: Oh, the comment, “And on this day, of all days,” … it was a day of reflection, a day of assessing my "progress." It was my birthday.