sunny

everything is feeling somewhat sunnier

even though i went to what was probably the most disappointing concert of my life, and one of the main reasons it was one of the most disappointing was because, as he said, it was the one concert, the one that we could rely on to be amazing.  like, the bands you love are usually amazing, right?  this one was supposed to really be amazing, because they’re known for that kind of thing, and they’re known for their cds sounding like their live cds

even though tonight was a bit messy, because i got drunk too early and he got drunk too late and i knew he wouldn’t want to come but i wanted him to come anyway because i wanted to party with him and i wanted to celebrate the fact that all of this is finally finished and we can finally have some free time

even though i worked the day shift today, which was a lot longer than my usual afternoon, but it was okay because i kind of enjoyed it and i kind of didn’t mind getting up that early and i kind of didn’t mind him slyly looking at me most of the day and because i felt it was more worthwhile being there for longer hours just because of the petrol to get there

even though sometimes i think i’m a little bit bored, even though this is what i’ve been waiting the whole semester for.  this is what i’ve wanted, and i’ve got it, but i think i’m feeling a little bit guilty because i can’t really be relaxed or laid back, or partying, because when it comes down to it i really have to remember everything that i have to do

even though anthony was in an accident and it was only 2 blocks from our house, at the same corner that i drive on at least once or twice a week, when he was on his way to our house so that we could all go into the concer together, the disappointing one that i kind of wish i didn’t go to, but now at least i know,, and at least anthony is okay

even though i have this stupid massive monitor taking up most of my desk, and the other half is taken up by the broken laptop it is connected to, that i can’t afford to get fixed, and i don’t know yet about getting a new one because i don’t know what i want yet, and i’m so sick of macs that i don’t want one, even though i know it’s what i should do because of where i’m probably going, even though i’m not even sure about that

what i love is

having our room finally look like ours, having our two desks, all set up, and having this great bookshelf and all the powerboards organised

cooking so many amazing dinners, even though tonight’s was a bit of a let down, but it was healthy as

loving good music, and getting to listen to it, and rocking out to it

our house, and the fact that it’s fifteen minutes walk away from everything i love, and everywhere i love to go, and easy transport to everywhere (sans smith street, of course)

the fact that my ear infection’s better, and i’m feeling okay, and i don’t mind the fact that i got up early today, or that i slept badly tonight, or that it’s 2.41am and i’m still not asleep

just hanging out with him

and

loving

life

right

now