Friday musings.

M walks in and I notice; smile. I’ve only met her once but there was something about her. We’re sitting talking, after almost everyone else had left the lunch.. about the campus out there, about her other 5 jobs, about the woman who makes everyone cry, about the Volcano Dreaming project, about the Iramoo Grasslands.

She says, A lot of people don’t realise, but they’re really beautiful up close.
And I agree, but I’m thinking, you’re really beautiful up close. 

It’s kind of strange that every now and again I get a feeling about someone (more often lately) and wonder if I’m really getting a vibe or if I’m just reading it completely wrong.

Yeah, the haircut thing was a bad idea. Lucie talked me out of that, thankfully. It really wasn’t me anyway; just an out, a form of laziness. A form of cowardice, really. 

Maybe I’m making assumptions on H based on her hair, but I feel like it’s more than that. She’s strong.. I don’t know. She did mention an ex-boyfriend so that’s not a good sign, but as I keep telling myself, I have one of those too. 

J keeps texting and they’re adorable texts, and I don’t know what to do about this situation. Since I turned him down I’ve reconsidered.. and feel awful and selfish about this but for some reason I’ve developed a crush. Tables have turned. I feel so comfortable around him, so happy.

I don’t know what to do about anything, but I think I’ve worked out what I want. (that’s if I want anything at all).

Someone strong, gorgeous, independent. Intelligent and interesting. Outdoorsy. Educated, but not stuck up. Someone I feel comfortable with and can talk to for hours. These are the traits that keep coming up.

(and yes, a little part of me is still thinking of L)