blast from the past

I’m just standing there doing my job on Sunday afternoon, all fake-smile-hello-how-are-you and BAM! there she is after about 5 years. The memory of the crush I had hits me like a ton of bricks, but it only takes a second to compose myself, and to remember it faded long ago.

My face lights up; why shouldn’t it?

We hug, tight, and talk for about half an hour non-stop. It’s great to see her and she looks fantastic.

I’m developing more and more the ability to compartmentalise things like this. To be aware that something like this is part of my past, not my now. And that I occasionally get these stabs of regret, but that they go away really fast when I remember how happy I am. 

These things used to torture me, try to make me believe that I’m missing something. I’m not though; I’m not missing anything. 

I’m secretly envious of a lot of people’s lives, but I’m just so glad about the here and now, grateful for where I am and what I’m doing and who’s by my side.