Worried but not worried

 I’m worried but not worried, all at the same time.  I woke up about an hour ago, thinking about things.  Nanny featured prominently, as anyone reading me could probably guess.  A friend of ours made a report to Adult Protective Services yesterday, but we doubt it will do any good.  Ms. P. , the case worker for Nanny, called the friend back and said there was already a case open and they’d continue the investigation.  Well…..it sounded to our friend like a blow-off.

So what are we going to do?  We apparently won’t get ANY help with Nanny.  They keep telling my wife and me that they "may have to place her", meaning in a nursing home or assisted living facility, but then my sister talks to them and gets a different story.  It’s not fair.  Someone is lying to me, and I don’t know what to believe anymore.

I haven’t wished Nanny dead or harmed in a few days, so I’m making progress.  My obsession is changing, if not easing up.  I’m still obsessed with her, I guess, sad as that is to admit.

What to do?  I don’t know, honestly.  I wish someone had an answer for me.

Love to all,

Jack