We worked it out

 

My Mikey, I love you

∞ • π³ + 1

Hank and I had a big blowup, last night.  It got pretty ugly, with me telling him "fuck you for that" and that he was lower than slime to say something he said.  I told him he wasn’t interested in me anymore, which he took as a sexual comment, when I didn’t mean it that way.  I meant as a person.

I found out that he felt pretty much the same way about me as I was feeling about him, last night.  Isn’t it funny (not in a humorous way) how each party in a relationship can feel like they are doing EVERYTHING wrong, that any move they make may be one they "get in trouble" for?  That’s the point we’ve been at for God knows how long now.

We didn’t solve it with words.  I finally quit talking to him.  Before I went to sleep, though, I finally bit down my pride and did what I wanted all along….I rolled over and leaned on him…he held me, and I told him that even when I’m screaming that I hate him, I really love him and need him.  We apologized to each other for the latest hurts, and we laughed some, so everything was smoothed over.  We can’t laugh when everything is not okay.

Meanwhile, I’m sitting here with tears in my eyes.  Willy, my friend Crystal’s brother, wrote me back, telling me what happened to Crystal.  She died in April of 2004 of a cocaine overdose.  Her new husband had apparently introduced her to coke.  I think they might have lived in Waco, which makes me sad, because I was already living here then, too.  I’d hate to think I missed out on some extra time (and possibly a chance to save my friend) with her, when we were in the same town.

Life can be so beautiful, but it can also be treacherous and ugly as sin.

All is well.  Sad, but well.

Love to everyone, and thank you for your notes, John and Charles,

Betty Louise