Watching the Wheels

That John Lennon title seems appropriate right about now, because I’m just sitting here watching the wheels go ’round and ’round.

Memaw has gotten to the point where she mistrusts her own great-grandchildren now.  I don’t think I have to worry about it happening with me, because I have a theory that, so far, seems possibly true in my mind yet.

Of late, Memaw has become convinced that Alex is picking on her.  Cody and Tessy are doing things, as well, though I’m not sure what.  Melissa and Laura, Martha’s grandchildren, had theft allegations levelled their way by Memaw.  It wasn’t so, thank God.

Now, before anyone thinks bad thoughts about My Memaw, let me explain.  She is an Alzheimer victim, and it is beginning to harshly cloud her judgement in many areas.  I wish this were not so, because Memaw has always been such a good woman, and it is heartbreaking to see the changes this fucked-up grandparent-killing disease is causing in her and Nanny.

It seems to me that the reason my nieces and nephews (and some cousins’ kids, too) are under attack is nothing to do with them personally, per se.  It boils down to respect.  We, of my generation in this family, were raised to have a great deal of respect and admiration for our grandparents.  Somewhere along the way, we have failed to impart this lesson to our babies.  They seem to see everyone as completely equal on the respect scale, and it simply is not true.  At least not in our family.

Much as I love my babies, I have to admit (if I am to be truthful about it) that they will barge right over anyone that stands in the way of what they want.  They don’t consider other peoples’ feelings and such as much as they should, and they don’t let the fact that Memaw is 70+ years older than they stop them from being any way they choose to be.  That CAN BE fine sometimes, but it can have bad consequences, too.  I firmly believe this lack of trust is one of the bad consequences.

It is somehow our fault for failing to teach the children to observe the hierarchy that was established by those before us.  I prayed that Memaw would not "go this way", meaning that she would not develop the nasty streak some Alzheimer victims develop.  That would not be my grandmother.  Not Memaw.  I hate to say it, but it WOULD be Nanny.

I know the family will pull through this, eventually.  I just worry really hard about Mama, because she has Memaw living with her, and she sees her own mother disintegrating daily.  Prayer, though.  Prayer.

My Mikey, I love you forever times PI cubed plus one,

Your Jack