*WARNING – CONTROVERSIAL TOPIC* Abortion
I am absolutely incensed right now. I just read an entry that was nominated for Reader’s Choice, and it has left me furious!
In said entry, the female author states how she is tired of close-minded people, but demonstrates how she IS one of them, herself. She lumped pro-lifers in with racists and gay-bashers.
Ok. I see a HUGE problem with that. For starters, in a lot of cases, racists and gay-bashers are more inclined to be AGAINST life of people they don’t see as equal. I am FOR life of babies who had no choice in being created in the first place. So that somehow makes me the same as the people who lynch black people or take a baseball bat to gay people? I think not!
"It’s nobody’s right to tell a woman what she can do with her own body." That’s a common argument in favor of abortion. This makes no sense to me, because the way I see it, once you have a LIVING CHILD growing inside you, it ceases to be a "my body" situation. It is then, for the remainder of the pregnancy, "OUR body".
No, I’m not a woman. I AM a father and grandfather, though. I was not fortunate enough to be present for the birth or upbringing of either of my daughters, for the most part, because those took place before I ever even met their mother. But I HAVE been there for the births of two of our five grandchildren, and I can tell you it would have completely devastated me, had their mothers chosen to abort them and stated it was "their right" to have done so. Who gives this right?
I already have issues, I’m quite aware, concerning the whole parenting thing. I am jealous as hell that I was not fortunate enough to be able to carry a child myself. I don’t CARE if that sounds messed up. I always felt empty, where this was concerned, because someone in my family was always pregnant (still the case), and I bonded with those babies before they were ever born. I always felt that was one way men were cheated in life….the inability to nurture a human life inside their own bodies.
If you see this as a mental disorder or a serious illness…whatever you see it as….then dismiss my view and ask me if I care that you did. I just cannot comprehend how a woman could be selfish enough to say, "It’s MY body and MY RIGHT."
Tough as it is, I can understand a woman who was raped wanting to have an abortion. Doesn’t mean I necessarily agree with it, but I certainly can understand.
I also don’t JUDGE based on someone’s choices. This may sound contradictory, as I stated above that a woman "could be selfish enough"…..Read back in my diary, okay? Find all the entries concerning the loss of three of our grandchildren, and my struggles not to hate my own daughter, at times, for losing them. But it’s not my place to judge.
Can’t say WHY, but I have just calmed down a lot. Well, okay, I guess I can say why. I’m thinking of my grandbabies.
Maybe it has to do with what almost happened to us, once……
Laurie was having a medical issue that we didn’t understand. We went to the ER, and at one point, they informed us that they thought she was having an ectopic pregnancy. The only choice in that situation seems to be a D&C. When they said that, Laurie’s and my heart broke into a thousand little pieces each. The idea that my very first shot at having a biological child would end this way….end AT ALL….well, it wasn’t pretty, and we shed a lot of tears. Eventually, they told us that it was NOT a pregnancy of any kind.
No, I can’t carry a child. No, it’s not MY body that suffers through the side-effects of pregnancy. Yes, it IS my heart that grows with each day that child develops. It IS my love that grows and grows and grows, while waiting for the precious arrival of another child to love.
I really cannot understand how someone could view a child as a nuisance. They are blessings…if not for the person who carries them then for the ones who choose to raise them.
If you think you can explain this to me, please feel free to try. It’s not about US, it’s about THEM…the children in question.
nthaniel@gmail.com
Darlin… I need to straighten you out on a few issues..You are confusing love with necessity. Most women that choose to have abortions ( NOT miscarriages or D&C’s) really wish they had another choice. Thats the black and white of it. Few fathers stick around during an unplanned pregnancy. Some that are married even choose to split. In a perfect world,all babies are wanted and there is an….
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I agree with you completely.
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An ectopic pregnancy, if left alone, would have likely killed her. Just saying. Also, how are you 35 and a grandfather? And how is it possible to have daughters with a woman you hadn’t met yet? I’m not saying I agree or disagree with your entry here… just that it doesn’t appear to make much sense to me. Care to elaborate?
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endless supply of money,help and health resources. This is not so in real life. Abortion is,thank the Gods,legal and safe now.Its not about being ‘selfish”. Whats selfish is watching a teenager have a baby when she cant care for herself yet. The child is neglected both emotionally and economically. Sometimes abortion is the sane choice,not a pretty one,but a necessary evil. Look at an abused kid..
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Unsigned noter: You have never read me before, obviously. My daughters are stepchildren, but I don’t like that term. Since I never had my own children (and ZERO possibility of it, because I was never with a woman, before my wife), my girls were a gift from God to me. When I married my wife, Tiffany was 24 and Elisabeth was 14, so I had a little time to help raise Elisabeth, but not much; especially considering that she wound up getting pregnant and then married at the age of 16. This is how I’m such a young grandfather, as well. Also, I’m QUITE aware that an ectopic pregnancy could have killed her. That’s why I said that a D&C seems to be the only choice, in that situation. More questions?
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Nope, you cleared it up for me, thanks. I haven’t ever read you before- just randomed into this entry. Bye!
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RYN: THanks for seeking common ground with me. I do object to women using abortion as en easy means of birth control. Thats just laziness. We have super effective means of avoiding pregnancy now. An unplanned pregnancy is something else entirely. We could go round and round on this for eternity,but most level headed people know an unwanted child is doomed to a life of poverty..no on deserves that.
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I agree with nearly every point you make. But here is the bottom line – there is no way we can agree that/when a fetus can be considered an actual person. We do not know when a soul enters the flesh. And I am taking the liberty of assuming the presence of a soul is how we separate the definition of human life from other life. We will not be able to reach universal agreement on this issue. I’m notarguing with your points, just saying there is a fundamental obstacle preventing everyone from agreeing.
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You should read the entry after that one.
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No worries man, its not my style to start a fight. We’re all entitled to our opinions, and OD is our space to share them. It’s interesting to see the other side of the debate, it helps us make informed, educated decisions in life. Happy New Year!
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First – you have no right to call a woman selfish for having an abortion when you have no knowledge of the circumstances or reasoning behind the choice. Second – I object to your suggestion that women who have abortions walk away from it like it was “no big deal.” That isn’t the case at all. It does not matter why she chose abortion, and it does not matter if she treats the subject casually in conversation — I can guarantee that every woman who has had an abortion carries that event with them every day. It is a heavy, heavy burden, and many women cannot carry it alone. Many women end up in therapy and on anti-depressants. Many women constantly wonder “what if.” Believe me — I wish abortion wasn’t a necessary option. I wish we lived in a world where all babies were wanted, and no woman ever had to fear pregnancy. But that world does not exist. And you need to accept that. (You also need to accept that as a man, you can never fully understand the nature pregnancy. That is unfortunate, but true. – And I really do wish men were able to get pregnant and have children. If they could, I think our world would be a very different place.)
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To the unsigned noter above: I wish you had the decency to sign your note, but that’s not my bad. If I could have a child, believe me, I’d be all for it. If I didn’t plan for the child, couldn’t afford (who ever can?!) him/her, whatever…well, I could think of different ways to deal with it. That’s why there are places you can drop off your baby and not be prosecuted.
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I like this entry. I am sooooo against abortion. Like I said, my best friend had one, and I still dont know if ill ever forgive that. IF the mother were going to die giving birth, than maybe I’d understand.. But to go and get knocked up than abort the child because ‘youre not ready’, is just SELFISH!! I will argue that till the day i DIE! I dont even think id abort my child IF i was raped.. Its still a baby.. Still a life. I have 2children of my own, my oldest I had when I was 16. I could NEVER NEVER EVER imagine life without them! Wonderful entry!
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