Very confused and need advice badly

Random noter: First I wanna say, that I have never read your diary just this entry. I saw it on the front page and clicked on it. Coming from a home that I was physically and mentally abused, I have to say it always stays with you. It is not something you forget, even if that person has changed. My mother was a different person when she raised my brother. He never had a hand lifted to him, and I would always wish that she had been that way with me. If something were to happen to me and my husband my mother would NOT get the 2 children we have. Even though she has been nothing but a good grandparent to them. Having said all of that. Your daughter made a choice. I hate the excuse of it was done to me, so I do it to my children. To me that is the biggest cop out on the planet. Abused people know what it is like to be abused, so why the hell would they want to pass that along to their children. It makes me so angry. I have never as much as given my children a spanking. Do I get mad, do I feel rage sometimes? Yes… but never, ever have I taken it out on my children. There are times I felt I could of, yet those are the times you walk away and walk away fast.

My children are now 17 and 9. They are very well adjusted children. My 17 year old daughter and I are very close. I have not and never will be close to my mother. I am not saying she does not deserve a second chance. I gave her that with my children. I gave her the chance to be a good grandparent, and she has been. That is the ONLY reason I talk to her or let my children have anything to dowith her. I do agree if the children are being terrorized and physically abused your daughter should not have them. Although I can see why your daughter does not want her mother to have them either. I would not want mine to, why would I want the mother that terrorized me to be raising my children? I know you are confused, but you have to try to look at it from her point of view. She feels like her mother has made her to be the parent she is. Personally I do not agree with that statement, but I can see why she feels that way. I personally believe we are all in charge of our own destiny. She “chose” to be just like her mother. When I had children, I was so scared. My daughter was born and I looked at her in fear. I knew what I had been through and it scared me.

Yet, I had always wanted to be a mother. So after the initial fear wore off, I told myself I would be o.k. I told myself to do the exact opposite of my mother and it would all work out. I have never laid a hand on them, I hardly ever raise my voice, I have never called them names (well brat, but yeah…), and they have always known they are love unconditionally. The exact opposite of my mom.It was a choice and it was the pure love I have for them. I hope I did not offend you, I just wanted to give you an outsider view of the abused person and what her thoughts may be. Although I do not excuse what she has been doing to her children, and I find it utterly repulsive I do understand her thought process on why she would not want her mother to raise her son.