Two recent dreams

I just woke up from a really weird dream about Daddy. I’ve also had a bad dream about my baby brother lately.

In tonight’s (naptime) dream, Daddy was back again. At one point, he overheard two of my cousins and me laughing, and he automatically assumed we were laughing at him. Daddy wasn’t like that, so I don’t know why he was in this dream. We were all grown in the dream, too, but Daddy came back to me and asked me if we were talking about him and laughing at him. I said no, and he did his one-movement-pull-the-belt-off-and-swing-it, but I interrupted it. I grabbed his arm that had the belt in it, and I almost yelled, "Daddy! Am I a liar?"

Well, that choked me up, because, in his real-life experience, yes, I WAS! But he quietly said, "No." and the belt went away. Then I put my 30yo head on my Daddy’s shoulder and cried. Oh God, how I cried. I told him how much I missed him the past 15 years. When I said "15 years", I started crying harder. And he wasn’t mad. He understood me, for once.

He’s always in my mind, in my heart, inside of ME, you know? I do miss my Daddy.

The dream about Johnny puzzled me, but Mama pointed out something obvious about it. In THAT dream, which I had two nights ago, my baby brother was telling me how he wanted to be buried. Not married, not harried, but BURIED!

I don’t remember all the details, but I know hearing this from my younger brother upset me tremendously, but I listened, because people DO die young, sometimes. Which is one thing Mama pointed out to me….November 7, 2005 will be the 20th anniversary of my Uncle Ray’s death. The reason MY brother was going to be buried in the dream is because MAMA’S brother was buried in real life 20 years ago.

How awful she felt. I don’t want to dwell on it right now. It will hit me again soon, I know myself.

I hope God is taking good care of my loved ones.

My Mikey, I love you forever times PI cubed plus one,

Your Jack

p.s. Oh yeah – I’m a dumbass. I forgot to tell you that, pending my criminal history check and a drug screening, I have a job at WalMart! I know I’m not a felon, and I’m not hopped up on drugs, so I have a job for the first time in a while!!!!

Congratulations are in order, damnit! 😀

Love,