Today….

I miss those days.  The days when we laughed with each other.

I was hoping to find a picture of Nathaneal to post on here, because he’s on my mind this morning.  I keep wondering how he’d feel if he knew what keeps happening to his grandmother.  I’m not telling him!

So….today, she should be transferred to the same mental hospital as last month.  I’ve packed her suitcase and gotten as ready as I know how.

Anyway, I’m not angry right now.  I go through shifts.  Sometimes, I’m incredibly angry about this, feeling like she could have prevented it but was too selfish.  Other times, I just feel so sorry for her condition.  Right now, I’m kinda neutral.  Yes, what she did caused this whole situation, but maybe I’m putting TOO MUCH blame on her.  

It’s been compared to my smoking addiction.  I can’t give that up, either, for some stupid reason.  So….maybe she can’t give up oxycontin, among other drugs.

I’ll write more later, because I’ve got more to say, but visitation time is sneaking up on me, so I’ve got to get my butt in gear and go up there.

Love to all,

Jack