Thinking of writing an open, public letter

I am aware of how off-the-wall this might sound, but something’s been on my mind a lot for quite a while now. I’ve been thinking about writing an open, publicly-accessible letter to share on Facebook regarding betrayal by loved ones.

I guess what prompted this initially was reading a lot of crime stories where a spouse murdered another one or some family member betrayed, harmed, or killed another family member or friend. I have what might be an unusual view on this.

It’s from years of bitterness, followed by a chronic illness that makes me just too damned TIRED to be so bitter, at least for the long-term. I have plenty of bitter moments left, but I’m trying super-hard to enjoy life more, especially now that it feels like I may be dead before age 40.

If Laurie were to kill me….that’s one of the main things I’d want to address in my letter. If she were to kill me, I would want my family to love her, pray for her, and eventually forgive her. She’s had ample opportunity, if she wanted to arbitrarily kill me, and she hasn’t done it yet, so I know it would only be under severe circumstances that she would feel the need to hurt me, much less KILL me. If I posed enough of a threat that she felt it was necessary to do that, then I would want my family to understand that. 

But even if I got rich someday and she killed me for money (which I NEVER worry about, because she wouldn’t do it), I’d STILL want my family to forgive her. In this case, not so much for her, though partly. I love her, faults and all. And I will love her eternally. There is no question in my mind that she is my other half, the person who is my EXACT match. Yes, we bicker. Yes, I complain. Yes, we are totally opposite in some ways, but I know she’s my match. I know it. Can’t explain it, just know it. But I’d want my family to forgive her, even if greed were her motivation for doing away with me. I’d want them to LOVE her in spite of it. I am not naive enough to expect them to hold out their arms and say, "C’mere, Snookums, and gimme a hug!!!" I would like, though, for them not to hate her, and I’d want my children and grandchildren still included in the family.

Anyway, I’m running out of steam now, so I may write more about this later. Maybe not. I’ve said the most important part.

Herman Forstmann

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