There’s always a new crisis

And boy, oh boy, am I tired.

Yesterday was a really bad day at home.  Today seems to be shaping up the same exact way, and it hasn’t even been here for a whole hour yet.

I went to bed at 5:30am.  I was awakened several times by my wife carrying on conversations with imaginary people, then, when that didn’t wake me up enough, she got hysterical.  When she reaches this particular kind of hysteria, she begins calling out for her Mommy.  Slight problem….Mommy has been dead for 18 years.

It’s not Mikey.  I don’t know who it is…probably someone I haven’t met yet.  At first, I’ll admit, I was ugly and hateful, saying that this "Mommy Mommy shit HAS TO STOP!!!!!!!!"

Then, something flipped inside me like a switch.  I calmed way down and told my wife that Mommy was in Heaven.  "Where’s Heaven?  I’ll go there to see her!"  You can’t go there.  I had to explain, for perhaps the thousandth time since our marriage, that her mother passed away in 1992.  Why?  She was very very sick, just like my Nanny is now.  Did she want to leave me?  No, she wanted very much to stay with you, Tippy J, and Elisabeth.  Who’s Tippy J?  Our daughter.  We have a daughter?  We have two of them.  

Do you remember your Mommy’s name, I asked?  We have a granddaughter with the same name.

Alicia.

Yes, Mommy’s name was Alicia, too. 

Why did she get sick?  I don’t know the answer to that. 

Do you know who Jesus is, I asked?  Yes.  Mommy’s with Jesus now.  Does Jesus love me?  Yes, He does.  How do we know that?  We just have to accept it…can’t prove it.

So she’s calmer, but not really herself yet.  I’m beginning to wonder if I’ve completely lost the person I married.

 

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October 10, 2010

rough dude rough

October 10, 2010

is this maybe someone younger coming out it sounds like? =( i hope she feels better. and that you can find who you married in her again

October 13, 2010

it is good that you were calm and rational… it made all the difference…