Then vs Now
My Mikey, I love you
∞ • π³ + 1
My life compared by the decades :
Age 22 : I was living alone in a house I’d bought with what I consider blood money. It was money that came as a settlement of the lawsuits that followed my Daddy’s fatal wreck. I wish to stress here that we NEVER intended to sue the other party, but he slapped a suit on us, so we countersued him. I craved love and acceptance, and I wanted someone to call my own and someone to call me his own.
Age 32 : I live in a house we are buying on a 30 year mortgage. I sold the other house in 1999, when I was 24, because I was going crazy in it, literally. At the age of 30, I married My Mikey, whom I still love with all my heart, soul, and body. We now have our teenage daughter living with us. Life is strange, to say the least, but it is good. I still miss my Daddy on a daily basis.
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Age 22 : I was beginning a sharp decline in my life. My mind seemed to have a course mapped out that no other part of me was privvy to. Other people would drive by my house and yell things, sometimes stopping to try to lure me to their vehicles. Fortunately, I was growing less naive, in a way. The paranoia I had always had about being alone increased, and I started down the path to a nervous breakdown, which took the next two years to come to fruition. Eventually, because of things I could never be sure of, such as whether or not people were screaming on my porch in the middle of the night, to scare me….coming into my house and moving things….then, there was one "friend" I let stay with me for a while who told me on more than one occasion that someone who hated him had been in the house when he came home, planning to kill everyone in the house. Unfortunately, I had not yet figured out what a horrid liar this guy was.
Age 32 : We live in Waco, as opposed to Corsicana (last decade’s hometown). There is a raging drug problem in this city, as mentioned in the previous entry, yet my mind is not as mixed up as it was ten years ago. I am starting to realize just who and what I really am, and I don’t dislike the person I am as much as I used to. Yes, I often say that I hate me, but I think that’s more out of habit than anything else. I enjoy being married and having the family I’ve craved my entire adult life. It happened in a most unusual fashion, but it happened, and I have them. And I’m keeping them!
I’m married to my best friend in the whole world, and for this I am thankful. My mother’s parents were not friends, and they grew very detached from one another later in life. God willing, we will never do this. I catch myself trying to detach from My Mikey sometimes, but I don’t want that. I DON’T WANT THAT!!!!!! So I won’t LET IT happen.
Everyone, take care of yourself and those you love.
Much love,
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Jack