So tired

Today is one of those days when I feel spiritually exhausted, as well as physically exhausted.  There doesn’t seem to be a reason for either of those.

I feel like I’ve been alive for a million years, and I’m ready for a rest.  I’m ready to take a break from the world.  There are plenty of reasons for me to stay here, and I’m not suicidal, so please don’t misunderstand what I am saying.  I’m just so tired.

September 3, 2010 – Our grandson Isaiah’s 7th Birthday – we found out Nanny had terminal cancer, with no options to correct it.  Nothing could be done but to wait it out and hope she didn’t suffer.

December 16, 2010 – Our granddaughter Naomi’s 5th Birthday – we will be burying my grandmother. 

I wonder if there is significance in that….it seems like we’re not allowed to keep anyone with a "grand" attached to them.  *Sighs*

Thank God for Memaw, Nathaneal, and Benny, Jr.  And for so many other people. 

I don’t want to leave everyone behind.  I just feel so worn down, and the hope I usually can hold onto is not there right now.  

Lord, I’m attempting to surrender it to You.