Rant!

It is 1:28am, and my mother is expecting me to go get the papers for the paper route and deliver them.  The problem?  I lent our car to a cousin for the weekend, ONLY AFTER getting my best friend, who lives with us, to agree to take me to GET the papers and throw them.  Bad enough, my friend yelled at me and bossed me around all goddamned day…and told me I didn’t need to be mourning the loss of my grandmother, which happened less than 24 hours ago!…but now I can’t wake her up!!!!!  Mama’s getting frustrated with ME, as if I didn’t live up to my word.  Well, to hell with everybody!

I’m not too thrilled with my mother, either.  All day long, I practically BEGGED her to come get me and take me to see Memaw, my only remaining grandparent.  She said yes at first, then hemmed and hawed all goddamned day until it was too late.  Why must I shoulder this loss (Nanny) without any family around?!!!!  Most of my fucking family LIVES IN THE SAME TOWN AS I DO!!!!!!

It’s not fair, and I’m angry and sick of it!

I asked Mama if my stepsister, Joyce, could run my portion of the route tonight again, with me picking it back up next weekend.  I’m willing to bet Joyce is going to give Mama hell, which she’ll hold against ME, when this is NOT MY FUCKING FAULT!!!!!!

I’ve about decided that when this house is paid off, which will be within the next year, we’ll move to California or Fort Worth, so we’ll be near our kids and grandkids.