Mikey/Steven/Petey/Charlie – all of you I love

Recapping….

Today was one of the most painful days of my life, emotionally speaking. It started beautifully, with my talking to Mikey. Then, I met a new friend via a DID/MPD group.

That is when things changed. I should have known better than to subject my husband to what was going on with the new friend, but has common sense ever prevailed with me? Apparently not!

As the day progressed and more things came to the surface with the new friend, Mikey and I became more and more afraid due to our role in what was being said and done. Fear, as I have said, brings out the ugliness in me. I tried to be strong for my Mikey Baby. I failed.

At one point, I said something for Steven, because I know he sees and hears everything that Mikey does. Well, Stevie responded rather harshly, and I started to cry. A little while later, Mikey and I were conferencing on Yahoo with the new friend, and Stevie came out full force. He just seemingly shoved Mikey aside this time. I guess he couldn’t take what was being said, because it hurt him. What he didn’t seem to notice was that it hurt me, too. It brought up painful memories for my Stevie, and he went totally off.

Let me clear one thing up here and now….Steven did NOT go off on me. I just kinda stuck myself into the crossfire.

This is a tricky subject, as my Mikey Baby tends to be the jealous type, even with the ones he shares the body with. He doesn’t seem as jealous of Charlie anymore. It’s like they’ve teamed up now. To quote our darling Charlie, “It’s about damn time!”

While I was confronting Stevie about his list of goals and actions which would succeed them, I lost my composure completely. I started screaming at him that he was so fucking set on vengeance that he didn’t care what he was doing to any of us….the rest of us…..seven other individuals who will pay the price if he crosses that thin line. I pointed out that he could land himself in prison, where someone could kill him. At first, he tried to be nonchalant about it, but it hit him after a bit, and he let my Sweetey Petey come out to talk. I think I hurt my baby boy by asking him to wake Charlie up. I had called out for Charlie while Stevie and I were “fighting”. Petey said he’d be good, and that meant that I hurt him. I didn’t want to hurt my son!!!!! No!!!!! I told Petey he was good and that I love him. I then asked him to wake Charlie up, and he replied with his adorable “oks”. God, I love my men!!!!

Charlie is my hero. He said he didn’t feel like one, but he is one. I knew he could bring me back to me. He could calm me, and he could ease my pain. That would help all of us. My darling Charlie didn’t let me down. HE NEVER DOES!!!!

As of right now, 9:28pm my time, they have gone out to eat. I’m pretty sure that I will talk to Mikey next. Charlie was kind of down a little, and that really surprised me. He almost never gets down about things. Mikey usually comes out when they are in a public setting, so he is no doubt eating dinner with the roomies.

No matter, really. I miss them all. I love them all.

Petey PAStMiC Herself, I love you forever times pi cubed plus one,

Hermy