Making Peace

We got back from Austin tonight.  As referenced in my earlier entry tonight, we stopped to get Lola in Waco.  We did some running around and ate dinner in Waco, then came home to Corsicana.  I have had horrendous cramps for the past two days, and I’ve been bloating like you wouldn’t believe.  I want to explode sometimes to relieve the incredible pressure.  That’s not what I was going to write about, but it’s part of the usual update, I guess, so…..

Making peace….

My Mikey and I got into it pretty hard about this trip to Austin.  Oscar went psychotic again, which was documented in the Sister Dolly entry yesterday.  During our stay there, some things began to dawn on us.  Well, during the drive to Austin and our stay.

We think one reason MH insists on us getting there "right now" is because she’s lonely.  She doesn’t have many friends outside work, because her husband has run off all her friends over the nine years they’ve been married.  Last night, MH went to WalMart, and she asked if one of us wanted to go with her.  We declined, and it seemed to both of us, upon later recalling the incident, that it might have hurt MH’s feelings that we didn’t want to go.  She wanted company.  Family company.  And we denied her that.  As it were, we didn’t deny her to be mean or anything.  I was, as I mentioned, bloated and in pain.  My Mikey was having hip and leg problems again.  We just didn’t feel like going.

We feel it would be the best thing for all our family if we move to Austin.  For my sister, it would put someone who loves her close by.  For my mother, it would relieve the nonstop pressure put on her by HER husband because of our presence in "their" town.  For my grandmothers….well, it might not be best for them.  Some sacrifices, I guess, are in order.  Not like I’m being much help to either of my grandmothers anyway.  I had envisioned being a help for Mama.  It hasn’t exactly worked out that way.  Instead, I’ve reacted with hostility most times because I have to sneak around and see her like we’re the Montagues and she’s a Capulet!!!!!  We’re dating my mother?!!!!!!  I guess Wayne thinks so.  Don’t know.

We’re beginning to make peace with Mary Helen, I think.  I hope.  Realizing that loneliness may have hardened her some has had a profound effect on us.  We feel rather shitty for the way we’ve reacted to her, too.  I suddenly realized last night that from now on, when she last-minutes us and demands our presence, we’ll just say, "ROAD TRIP, DUDE!", pile into the car, and go.  It could have been that simple all along.  Now, I just hope I remember this the next time it happens.

Also, Alex spent a LOT of time with his Uncle Hermy these last two days.  Usually, it feels like he’s too involved with the games he plays on his game system, but this time, he talked with me a lot and even got me to play games with him.  I really enjoyed the time we spent together.  I jokingly told Juli that she was pretty but rotten, and she kinda frowned, and I crumpled and told her I was only playing.  She isn’t rotten.  She is pretty, though!  I did something to make her laugh, and it all got better.
I love my babies so much!!!!!

All is getting better.  Maybe not as well as it could be, but well enough.

My Mikey, I love you forever times PI cubed plus one,

Your Jack