Letters to and from my sister MH

I don’t know quite how to take/react to the responses. First is my letter to Mama and MH. Then come two responses from MH, my sister.

Dear Mama and Mary Helen,

I wanted to talk to you two together, but I didn’t want to be interrupted or "corrected" in any way until I had my say.

Today, we were at Nanny’s house when I talked to Mama, who told me to call MH, because MH was willing to pay for us to be "put up" another night at the Kingsway Inn. I was happy about that until I called Mary Helen the first time. It soon became evident that, as usual, there had ALREADY been a miscommunication.

Mary Helen asked Mama to figure out what she needed, as it was put to me by MH, and get back to her. This was relayed to ME as that I needed to call MH myself. That in itself upset me, because that’s how all our problems seem to start. Small miscommunications that escalate.

When I spoke to MH, while I was still at Nanny’s house, MH asked if we wanted to come down to Austin. I asked Laurie about it, and we said it would be ok. I also told MH that we’d have to talk about it. Apparently, the message did not get across that I meant we’d talk about it when we were NOT around Nanny. So all the plans developed from there one-sided. I could not speak freely because I was at Nanny’s house, within easy enough earshot of Nanny.

I made agreeing noises in front of Nanny, and I attempted to tell MH I would call from my house later. The message was SUPPOSED to be that we could speak freely when I called from my house. That turned out to be another missed message, I guess. Since I could not say, "We really don’t want to drive to Austin" without Nanny taking back the money she’d given and raising hell about it, I had not much choice but to say that I’d call later from home. I said that several times, actually.

As soon as we got home, I called Mama and told her we would do another night at Kingsway. No sooner had I hung up the phone and walked into the bathroom than the phone rang and it was MH. I don’t know if that was coincidence or what. When Laurie expressed that we didn’t want to drive the drive because of road conditions and our tires being in semi-bad shape, MH asked why we didn’t patch the tire and drive down anyway. Ok, get the point….We didn’t want to drive! It wasn’t JUST the tire!!!!! It was also that we didn’t feel safe. That matters to us, whether it matters to anyone else or not.

As it happens, we are in room 125 at Kingsway Inn. The number is 903-874-4795 and the extension is the room number : 125. It cost $40 because we had to get a two-bed room instead of a one-bed room. We still have and will still send the other $20 to MH in the mail. I don’t know what we will do tomorrow night, but we will figure that out, I guess. It will probably be just as cold tomorrow night as it is now, so…..

Please, you two…if you insist on talking to each other about things that I promised Johnny we would no longer involve Mama in, which would be anything involving conflict between we two siblings, then get all the facts straight, listen with a full ear, and report things the way they were said, or as close to it as you can. Also, please, MH, try to be a little more cooperative. I do not appreciate that you told the kids I WOULD be there instead of that I MIGHT be there. That hurts me because it hurts them that now I won’t be there. You are so set on having your way that you are mindless as to whom you hurt in the process, and it has finally extended even to Alex and Juli – because you don’t give anyone else a chance!

I don’t know what else to say. I send my apologies and all my love to Alex and Juli, as always, and to both of you. Please realize, soon – very soon – that I am a real human being who is grown and married. I cannot and will not make snap decisions without time and opportunity to discuss it with my spouse. I will no longer tolerate being bulldozed into making a decision that I did not wish to make simply because I have to choose between two wrathful females if I make a decision that displeases them. (I was speaking of Nanny and an angry MH)

Thank you for offering us refuge. That sincerely IS appreciated, Mary Helen. We happen to be in a very bad way emotionally, as well as financially, and neither of us feels confident that we can be in anyone else’s constant presence without conflict of some sort sooner or later. That was yet another factor in our decision.
Please think about the things I have said.

Love,

Herm, Jr.

Fine. And don’t accuse me of miscommunicating. I got everything you said, because I asked you yes/no questions so that you COULD answer in front of Nanny. And once you told me you’d talk to me later at your house, I didn’t talk about the situation at hand any further – I told you about the little German lady in the doctor’s office and stories about the kids! Excuse me for fucking living and for wanting to talk to you since I haven’t in so long. And if the reason that you don’t want to come down is because you don’t want to drive, fucking say you don’t want to drive, don’t give some half-assed lame excuse about some stupid tire problem and get mad when I suggest a solution. And don’t you dare presume to tell me what I can and cannot tell my children. But you can be damned sure that from here on out, they won’t have any idea in the direction that they may see you. As a matter of fact, I hereby wash my hands of you. You are, as you said, a grown man, a married man, so I will no longer deal with you. That seems to be your message. So, as you wish, sir and ma’am. You want to talk about hostility and bad attitudes, you ought to be on my end of the phone. You will never know, Jr, how many times I have bitten my tongue when speaking to your spouse. I think she is so full of fucking bullshit most of the time that it makes me sick to my stomach, but because she is YOUR wife, I try to tolerate HER loud mouthed roughshod ways…the reasons she gives for not liking my attitudes or my ways of doing stuff…look in a god damned mirror, Laurie. So go ahead and stay on your fucking high horse about no one but you knowing what’s really going on – I won’t bother you any more – I’m tired of being on my tiptoes around you. And don’t worry, there is no copy of this going to mom.

In a message dated 2/18/2006 5:59:48 PM Central Standard Time, nthaniel@gmail.com writes:

When I spoke to MH, while I was still at Nanny’s house, MH asked if we wanted to come down to Austin. I asked Laurie about it, and we said it would be ok.

You are so set on having your way that you are mindless as to whom you hurt in the process, and it has finally extended even to Alex and Juli – because you don’t give anyone else a chance!

This (first paragraph) is when I told the kids you would be down, so bite my ass. You know, you really burn my ass talking so self righteous about MY kids. At least I bother to raise my own kids. I am not the one losing them to CPS or abandoning them in California to move across the country to be with the man I lied to and deceived. Don’t you EVER preach to me about MY kids again. And you know what? Fuck you – I won’t even let them know anything about you. That way you won’t ever dare to think you are that important in this scheme of things. My kids are everything to me and FUCK YOU for even thinking that I would hurt them – that’s your guilty conscience at play there.

Mary Helen asked Mama to figure out what she needed, as it was put to me by MH, and get back to her. This was relayed to ME as that I needed to call MH myself. That in itself upset me,

So what?????? I told you that the main idea was in place that yes, I would get the money there if that’s what needed to be done. Why the fuck does it matter if Mom told you something different – she didn’t tell you that I SAID to call me, SHE told you to call me. She thought cutting out a "middle man" would eliminate any of your precious "miscommunications".

No sooner had I hung up the phone and walked into the bathroom than the phone rang and it was MH. I don’t know if that was coincidence or what.

Yeah, it was a coincidence. One I regret now.

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When Laurie expressed that we didn’t want to drive the drive because of road conditions nand our tires being in semi-bad shape, MH asked why we didn’t patch the tire and ndrive down anyway. Ok, get the point….We didn’t want to drive!

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What a fucking crock of shit. Weather conditions are supposed to be nworse, and the tire problem will still exist tomorrow…what the fuck? nTell the truth (highlighted)once in a while…it works wonders. And Laurie nwas pulling shit out of her ass – I told you I checked with DPS about the road nconditions and that at that time and until nightfall, they were supposed to be nclear, but again, Laurie knows more.

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I will no longer tolerate being bulldozed into nmaking a decision that I did not wish to make simply because I have to choose nbetween two wrathful females if I make a decision that displeases them. (I nwas speaking of Nanny and an angry MH)

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When Laurie expressed that we didn’t want to drive the drive because of road conditions and our tires being in semi-bad shape, MH asked why we didn’t patch the tire and drive down anyway. Ok, get the point….We didn’t want to drive!

What a fucking crock of shit. Weather conditions are supposed to be worse, and the tire problem will still exist tomorrow…what the fuck? Tell the truth (highlighted)once in a while…it works wonders. And Laurie was pulling shit out of her ass – I told you I checked with DPS about the road conditions and that at that time and until nightfall, they were supposed to be clear, but again, Laurie knows more.

I will no longer tolerate being bulldozed into making a decision that I did not wish to make simply because I have to choose between two wrathful females if I make a decision that displeases them. (I was speaking of Nanny and an angry MH)

You know what? Declare Laurie officially the winner of this battle, because you know what? I withdraw. I will not speak to you, I will have no further communications with you. You just don’t realize what you married. Not who – WHAT. She is a wrathful, manipulative, conniving, lying fucking bitch, and I want nothing to do with her. For you, I tried to look past it and give her the chances that in a million years I wouldn’t give to anyone else. She won’t change. But you wanted her and now you have her, and now you don’t have me, which you have explained QUITE CLEARLY to me is no real loss for you. I actually do wish you well – it’s all I ever wanted (and still want) for you, but now I wish you well without me. I hope you are happy and I will miss you. But please leave me alone.

Mary Helen

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