Interpretation

What do I think all this recent stress and mess means?

You really want my answer?

Ok.

I think that the recent battles with my sister, Mary Helen, have been “given” to me, if you will, as a way to teach me, once again, that I am in control of my own life. No one can stop me from living except me. Also, that nobody else is going to put my spouse, children, and grandchildren above anyone else and provide for them as is my duty to do.

Too many times, it is easy to blame my sister and grandmother, in particular, for things that happen in my life. Yes, they can be contradictory, unwilling to help out, vengeful, spiteful, malicious, and destructive. Those are facts. But another fact is this : I do not have to be affected by them!!!!!!

About our current financial situation….for now, I have a clear head, though God only knows how long THAT will last. While I have it, though, I wanted to write this all down, so I’ll be able to re-read it, and maybe it can help someone in a similar jam. My Mikey doesn’t want to accept it (yet), but I know full well that I should never have signed those papers on the house in Waco. I was rushed into a 30-year committment that I had not even had a hand in planning. Again, it’s easy to shift the blame to my sister, since she engineered the whole let’s-give-him-the-great-big-birthday-surprise-of-30-years-of-debt thing, but when it comes down to it, we all know, by now, that if I had not signed the papers, WE would not be in this mess.

Own your own problems, after all. Mama is right about that. It’s NOT all my sister’s fault. The things that have happened since then are PARTIALLY her fault, but I have to shoulder some of the responsibility myself. After all, I AM a grown man with a family. That changes things….hopefully, one day my attitudes will be among the changed things.

I am remarkably UNbitter right now. I am not happy with how things are progressing, but I’m not going to die from it, either, so…..

Only the end of the world is the end of the world, and THIS ISN’T IT!!!!!!

My Mikey, I love you forever times PI cubed plus one,

Your Jack

p.s. Thank you, My Mikey, for helping me have the strength and courage to stick to this life.

J