I was up at 4:30am

 

My Mikey, I love you

∞ • π³ + 1

 

And I’m still up!

My Mikey woke up a little just a while ago, but he chose to stay in bed.  Not that I can blame him for that!

I woke up with a familiar problem….a familiar MALE problem.  It starts with morning and ends with something that rhymes with "good".

I hate that!  It embarasses me to no end.  Here I am, a 32yo married man, with not much energy for a healthy sex life, and what do I do?  I wake up jerking off!  It makes me sick!!!!

It feels like I’m somehow insulting My Mikey if it happens, you know?  Like I’m saying, "Well, babe, I’m too tired for you, but I’m not too tired in my sleep!!!!"

Of course, Mikey thinks I’m being ridiculous, but I can’t help but feel dirty when it happens, and it happens more than I’d like to admit.

Our car is still broken down.  The water pump is out on it.  We can’t really afford to keep fixing the car, so I put an ad on Craigslist to sell it.  $500 OBO.  I’ve had several inquiries, but my stupid ass forgot to write down the mileage, and what’s the first thing people want to know?  "How many miles on it?"

Ugh, I get so mad at myself sometimes.

All is going pretty well, I guess.  We’ve been smoking inside the house again, which we need to stop doing.  Elisabeth is allergic to smoke…makes her vomit…and she will be back soon enough that we NEED to quit smoking indoors RIGHT NOW!!!! (I say, as I light up another cigarello)

The house so didn’t smell like smoke anymore, while Elisabeth was here.  It was starting to smell more like a real house instead of an oversized ash tray!  And we go and fuck that up by smoking inside again.  Oy, will we ever be smart?

I’m so sleepy.  I couldn’t sleep after getting so upset with myself this morning.  I took a bath, then had to take in some sugar.  I hate being pre-diabetic!  That’s what I call it.  Diabetes runs HARD in my family, and I’m sure I’ll have it one day.  For now, all I have lots of trouble with is when my sugar suddenly drops.  I rarely have to deal with elevated blood sugar, thank God.  When that happens, I feel as if I’m on fire!

I hope we hear from Tiffany today.  If she doesn’t call, we’re calling her.  I told her I’d like to hear from her more, and she said she’d call more often, but I guess her life is busy enough without talking to Rambling Dad.  I know she loves me, though.  I believe she knows how much we love her, too….and Eddie, her still-new husband.  He’s been a God-send!

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e=”5″>I’ll let everyone know what’s up with our grandbabies as soon as I know anything for sure.  I do know that Tiffany still has her parental rights, though she thought they’d been terminated.  Sad fact, according to her caseworker for A and I, she WILL lose them…she just hasn’t lost them YET.

Gives us a little wiggle room.

I want my grandbabies.  I don’t care if we raise them or not.  I have to have them,  because I love them so much, and I KNOW they love us, too.  They love talking to their YaYa and Bumpa.  It’s VERY mutual!

So……I’ll shutup, for now.

Much love to everybody,

Jack