I asked for a sign….

Yesterday…well, it was really the day before, since it’s after midnight…I got drunk. I posted about it on Facebook. The end, I thought. Not so.

My sister, MH, saw my post and got really angry with me. She asked me to block her from seeing it, but I was drunk and got ready for an argument and told her to hide it her damned self. I was grieving too much, too hard, and I was WAY too confused. I needed my brain to go numb.

After an argument, I needed to clear my head. The argument wore off what little effect getting drunk had really had on me, so I walked somewhere. I went to a church near my house. It happens to be the same one my cousin Lori attended.

I sat on the ground, after switching places a few times, due to ants, and I proceeded to talk to God. I was at His house, so I wanted to talk to Him. At first, I really was concerned the police might come, after some driver going by saw me rocking back and forth, talking out loud to someone who wasn’t there.

But He WAS there. 

I asked why I couldn’t figure my life out, why I could not understand, why I couldn’t get answers. I was sure He heard me, so why didn’t I hear Him? Was it because He didn’t answer or because I didn’t know how to listen for and to them? Why couldn’t I have someone to talk to?

As I started singing the first words that popped into my head, the song "Whispering Hope", a vehicle passed, then turned into the other side of the church parking lot. I wasn’t SURE it was the church parking lot they turned into for a few minutes. Then, they pulled up and called out to me. I did not know them. It was a married couple from Kansas, I found out. While talking to them, I started feeling better and better. I told them I asked God for someone to talk to, and poof, they appeared. I also told them I was looking for a sign of some sort.

We finished talking, exchanged phone numbers, and they drove away…or so I thought. They came back into the lot, honked to get my attention, and said, "You wanted a sign, right?" Oh, I had told them about my cousin’s death, including how she fell from her horse. I said, "Yes." He said, "Go look at the church’s sign!"

And this is what I saw…..

 I believe in miracles, and I got one. When I got back home and got in touch with my mother, to let her know I was okay, she said that God was whispering in my ear. How fitting, I told her, that she said that, as I was singing "Whispering Hope" when it all went down.