Hot Pep

My Mikey, I love you

∞ • π³ + 1

I don’t know about this “gentle guy” stuff, but I guess that’s beside the point, isn’t it? I’m listening to my music on the computer. My voice just comes and goes at a whim, now, and it’s confusing the hell out of us all. Piers is convinced that he’ll never sing again, of course. Drama ho, as said Darling Mikey.

Today was both good and bad. I have had several crying spells because of what Mama’s doctor told her today. Well, not so much because of what he told her, but because my mother doesn’t take care of herself. No, she takes care of Wayne and then anyone else, but not herself! As a result, she is at EXTREMELY high risk for a heart attack right now. Her cholesterol is WAY high, she’s severely lacking Vitamin B12, and the more she exhausts herself, the worse it all gets. Then, on top of that, the silly woman had been out of her eyedrops for glaucoma for a few weeks, I guess, and didn’t bother telling us about it. Now, I’m not that well-to-do right now, but if I can contribute (which, thankfully, right now, we can) to Mama’s med fund, there’s no way I’m not going to do just that. I told her not to feel bad for taking what we offer, because we’d rather be broke and have a Mama than have money and NOT have a Mama. She said that made sense. Now, let’s just see if she’ll fucking LISTEN to me. She will, ultimately, because I’m not letting up on this one AT ALL. If I have to steal the pills and drops and shove the pills down her throat, that’s exactly what I’ll do!!!! I’m not ready to lose my mother, too!!!!!!!

Memaw was doing semi-decently today. She looked upset, and she couldn’t readily answer a question that the nurse asked her, so Mama asked her. I could tell by the way Memaw looked and what she said that putting pressure on her to answer the question would only make her memory problems worse, at least temporarily, but Mama doesn’t seem to think that way. None of those siblings think that way, but goddamnit, I’ve already LOST one grandparent to Alzheimer’s, and no one EVER pressured him the way Memaw’s kids pressure her sometimes. If they had, Nanny would’ve slapped the dogshit out of them. As it happened, she DID manage to get a few doctors, nurses, and aides fired! HA!

The rest of the day, after visiting Memaw, has gone pretty well, other than my intermittent crying spells. I’ve been keeping myself as busy on the computer as possible, to keep myself distracted. When I think too much about the doctor pretty much guaranteeing my mother a heart attack if she doesn’t ease up, it shakes me up inside. I honestly don’t believe she WILL slack up. She drives herself too hard, and it might wind up killing her, if she’s not careful.

Oh, I used a rather dirty technique of guilt trip on Mama today. While we were in the Physical Therapy room with Memaw, I told Memaw that the doctor warned Mama, and I told her (just in case) what it meant. I also said, “You’re her mother, so she has to do what you say, so will you tell her to take care of herself?” Memaw DID tell Mama to take care of herself. She said, “I need my Suzi!”

Goddamnit. I’m starting to cry again. I’m gonna hang this entry up and listen to some music again. Gotta perk up. I’ve been perky for hours now!!!!! Gotta reperk. Instead, I think I’m an automatic drip! LOL

Love and sloppy kisses,

Jack