Faith can see anything through

 

And a sense of humor can help faith remarkably to ease the pain involved in this process we call "living life".  Example : dancing kitten in picture above.

On the way home from Austin on Saturday, I dislodged something that was stuck on my vocal chords.  It is not the first time I have had to do that, but it is the first time in a long time.  When I was in my early twenties, I had to do that from time to time.

Because I successfully dislodged whatever it was, I can sing again!  By the way, success, in this case, is defined as doing the job without fucking up my voice box somehow.

Since our return, I have been working on the gospel album (all standard gospel songs) that my mother has been wanting me to record for a long, long time.  That, in itself, has helped me tremendously.  It reminds me of something that I need to remember each moment I am awake.

God is real.  God loves me, even when I sin.  God is love.

We are all connected spiritually, I believe.  That makes everyone I ever come into contact with very important to my life.  Even those I dislike are important, though, pressed for an explanation as to HOW they are important, I am not sure I could explain.  But once I am touched by another’s influence, it lasts.

There are people whose names I have forgotten.  Some of the people I once knew, I can remember names but not their faces anymore.  Some of them, I cannot remember either their names or their faces, but I identify them by the surroundings in which I encountered them.  No one in my life has been truly or totally forgotten.

My faith in God helps me remember each influence, too.  I have been gifted, at least since my young adult life, with the ability to find at least one good characteristic in every person I know.  Often, one good point will key another one in my mind…and in my heart.

When I say I will pray for someone, I mean it.  The problem lies in my unfortunate short term memory deficiency.  I asked God to do me a favor, though.  If I promise to pray for someone, and then I forget, I have asked Him to keep a tally of His own, on my behalf, and know what I WOULD HAVE prayed had I remembered to do it.  He knows my soul…after all, He made it…so I’m quite confident that He knows exactly what I mean to pray for, even when it slips my mind.

I lift all in my life up to my Lord and Savior each moment of my life.  Even the man who killed my father.  I hope he makes his peace with God and finds his way into Heaven.  I don’t ever want to meet him, see him, or know him, but I believe that, as a Christian, it is not RIGHT for me to wish anyone to go to Hell.

All of that aside, I am not anyone’s judge, anyway.  We each have ONE Judge, and He is the ONLY one who can judge us.  So….love people.  What else can we do?  What else makes any sense, anyway?

I’m praying on the inside for Memaw right now.  All night long, I have worried that she may be awake, afraid, paranoid, crying, etc.  The list goes on and on, unfortunately.  When we visited her after school hours…during her supper…she was crying when we got there.  As she came up the hallway, there were tears in her eyes, which prompted Louis’s arrival on the scene.

She said that she had "another boss", because the woman who is her roommate told her to come with her to the dining room.  She tearfully told Mama that Mama hadn’t "been where I’ve been today".  I didn’t know exactly what to make of that statement, but it made us sad, nonetheless.

During the meal, Memaw brightened up, and we actually got her to laugh.  There is nothing sweeter than seeing either my babies or my precious grandmother laugh.

My heart is aching.  I am petrified, wondering if we made a bad decision or a good one.  I know Mama needs the rest, though.  I also know that Memaw needs the care they can provide in Twilight.  I pray that we have made the right decision, and that Mama and Memaw don’t suffer consequences for what I helped pressure Mama into deciding to do.

Lord, my faith is in You.  I believe that all things happen for the best.  Even the most unbearable things happen for a reason.  Ours is not to question You, and I know this.  I DO question You sometimes, and I hope You forgive me for that.

Thank you, God, for the life You have granted me.  It has known both good and bad.  Sometimes, I feel the bad parts have been overwhelming, but I know that there is reason for it.

You astound me with Your grace.

Goodnight to all.  Much love, as always.

My Mikey, I love you forever times PI cubed plus one,

Your Jack