Elisabethan Heartchitecture

Elisabeth finally called back.  Mikey has tried to reach her for days, with no response.  Elisabeth said she had called two days ago, and the person with whom she spoke said we were busy and to call back at 7:30.  I do not recall that, but I cannot say with certainty whether or not it happened.  Maybe we were napping when she called.  Sometimes, we don’t realize what we’re saying on the phone when we’re first waking up.

Elisabeth was talking to me about going to high school.  She’s going there, in the area in which she lives now.  In other words, we’re toast.  We’re history, and not even a good one to read, apparently.  She wants to go to school the rest of her career there.  I can’t believe this.  Tiffany wants to be around us, but Elisabeth apparently would rather rot than be with us.

FUCK, this was not how this entry was supposed to go.  I don’t understand this.  I was not down about this while we spoke.  Mikey got depressed and started crying while I was talking to Elisabeth, so I passed the telephone to Mikey.

I don’t know what to think.  She says she loves us and misses her mother.  Maybe she does.  Maybe she doesn’t.  It’s impossible for me to know, because I’m not in her head and heart.

In this regard, I’ve never felt more unwanted.  I have Tiffany to keep the scales balanced.  At least she loves us.

I talked to the kidlets, which was nice.

All I can do is pray for mercy and hope God delivers it.

Love to all,

Elizabeth Louise
the bad Mama