Eat my shorts

I know I need a chill pill, and I know it, but so fucking what!!!!

I’m feeling really insecure, and because I am also in a really BAD mood, nobody in the body of that person I’m married to wants to have anything to do with me.

I think I know what’s behind all this.  He got his second check from WalMart today.  I still haven’t started work.

That says it all.  I’m not the one who earned a damn penny, so I don’t get to help spend it.  I just wanted a bicycle, but not anymore.  I don’t need one with the weather this way, anyway.  It’s too cold again.  I don’t HAVE the necessary $35-40 for a bike from a pawn shop, so I won’t ask for one.  I didn’t earn the money, so I’ll let the REAL man of the house…since I am not a wage-earner, I am not worth shit, just as it always was before…keep it, spend it as he sees fit, etc.

We need to pay the water bill, but I’m sure as fuck not mentioning it again.  If any of the others do, they are being forewarned right here and now that I WILL take drastic action to see that they are punished.

I hate myself.  I wish I had a gun, but because I’m crazy, I’m not allowed to HAVE a gun.

Goddamnit.

Piers