Dear Abby and Betty *edit*

DEAR ABBY AND BETTY:

I recently inherited a substantial amount of money from my great-grandmother. I want to start a college fund for my younger cousins.

Here’s the problem: My uncle (their father) has two children with his girlfriend, who also has two children from a previous marriage. I want to give the money only to the cousins who are related to me, and announce what I’m planning on my grandparents’ anniversary.

My fear is that I will cause a "bad vibe" between my uncle and me since I’m excluding his "stepchildren." How should I handle this? — LOVING COUSIN IN ORLANDO

Abby’s response :

DEAR COUSIN: Rather than make a public announcement of your intention at the celebration, I suggest you speak privately to your uncle and tell him what you have in mind. That you want to share your great-grandmother’s bequest with those children who are related to her is admirable — but the offer should be made with delicacy and sensitivity so that it does not cause a rift in your uncle’s family.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Write Dear Abby at http://www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

Betty’s response :

DEAR COUSIN:

You don’t sound very loving to me.  My grandmother, Nanny,  wants to cut my mother and my wife completely out of her will, and she attacked me this morning, saying I will only ruin her  house if I move into it with "Laurie’s family".   MY family.   They are my step-children, to be literal, but I claim them as my daughters.

I  have told my grandmother, as your uncle will probably tell you….take your gift and shove it.  If you don’t accept the children all-for-one and one-for-all, then you can spit in your own eye to save me the trouble.

Betty