Angry at death *EDIT*
I am so incredibly pissed off at death…and at one certain person. A few days ago, an old friend of mine committed suicide. I’m not supposed to know that, but I do, and I can’t tell anyone else, which is why I’m writing it here.
He’d been having trouble with his ex-boyfriend, and then suddenly he was gone. Just poof…here one day, gone the next, and I’m so mad I could spit nails. It’s not fair, it’s not right, it’s just WRONG.
I had been thinking about getting in touch with him, but I put it off, thinking I’d do it the next time I visited the city in which he lived. Goddamn me for putting it off.
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I didn’t mean that I was angry with Adam. I’m not mad at him for killing himself. Sad, but not mad. I’m mad at the circumstances that drove him to it, and that goddamned boyfriend being such an ass to him.
Be kind to yourself. Once a person decides to commit suicide there’s not much that can be done…..they will always find a place and a way to do it.
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It’s really sad that someone commits suicide, it’s like an easy-out for them. A childhood friend of mine committed suicide a few years ago too….it makes me wonder whatever possesses anyone to do that.
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I’m so so sorry for your loss. I understand how you feel. My Mother called me the evening before. I was going to call her back the next day but it was too late by then. I still kick myself for that one. Someone once told me though, “What do you think your Mom would say if she could?” I thought she’d say “Don’t worry about it. It’s alright.” I think your friend would say much the same thing.
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Everyone has 20/20 hindsight. He was in immense emotional pain. Most people that commit suicide are. Be glad hes at peace. Hugssssssss and a kiss OTC.
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I understand. You have every right to feel the way you do. Do not let anyone tell you otherwise. Again I am so sorry for your loss.
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