12:53am – No sleep for me
My Mikey, I love you
∞ • π³ + 1
One of these days, they’d better fix my brain!
I can’t sleep right now, because I’m a stupid drama ho who is obsessive-compulsive. I don’t know WHAT put the notion into my head, but when I woke up a bit ago, I became totally convinced that if I went back to sleep, My Mikey and I would be murdered. And not just that.
My mind went so far as to show me tons of possibilities, thanks to the murder/true-crime stories I read. I even had this mental image of Tiffany on some tv news show, and the announcer said, "Tiffany’s parents were murdered by a street gang, while they slept."
God, I hate my mind sometimes!!!!!!
I just wanted to document why I’m not sleeping.
I really didn’t want to leave Mikey in there by himself. I specifically prayed that God would keep Mikey safe and unharmed through the night if I left his side.
Pray for me?
Jack
Have you ever had to wake him up just because you had to make sure it was still alive? I’ve done that to John a few times, and once or twice to my mother. If I have an incredibly horrible nightmare, then I always have to check that everyone in it is still alive and fine. I’m sure that there are no murderers coming to get either of you, so tell your mind to cut that out you need sleep!!!! Lots of hugs and kisses to you and Mikey.
Warning Comment
I’ve been thinking for days to try to come up with something that I could say to help you feel better. I can’t though. I’ve never lost a child, only relatives and Rob. I know that you and Cierra’s family will make it through, and eventually, the pain and the anger at the injustice of it all will fade and you’ll be able to discuss what a wonderful baby she was. I don’t know where I heard this but: “No one’s ever really dead unless they’re forgotten”. Lots and lots of hugs, John
Warning Comment
i hope you’re ok. don’t worry it was just a feeling but i’m sure there’s nothing to worry about. sometimes you gotta tell those feelings to take a hike 😉
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