01/25/2013

Thanks so much for all the congratulations and kind words. The night I posted that was actually the night P and I found out. I wanted to remember the day. As if I would forget. We told our immediate family that same day. But we haven’t told anyone else. I’ll probably start telling my really close friends over the next week or so. Ideally we’ll tell our good friends Carlos and Becky first this weekend. We are very close with them and we started trying the same month. She is due just three weeks before me. That really could not have worked out better.

I’ll be five weeks tomorrow, and feel great physically. It’s really still way too early for that to say much. My breasts are still tender but the mild cramping seems to be all but gone for now. I’ve eliminated all caffeine and have already started eating healthier, so my stomach is actually flatter than normal now. Not having my morning black tea is kind of tough. I may start having it again. Most medical professionals agree that under 200 mg of caffeine is perfectly safe.
I went to my regular doctor the next day and had it confirmed with a quantitative HcG test. At 16 DPO my beta HcG was 311. The doctor said that corresponds to 4-6weeks pregnant. From what I’m reading too that’s a good number. I also went and bought a copy of What to Expect When You’re Expecting. There are some reviews saying that it just scares you about everything that could go wrong and makes you even more of a worrier. I’ve already read quite a bit of it and I don’t agree with that at all, it’s actually quite reassuring and very comprehensive.
Pregnancy, and especially early pregnancy (at least from what I can tell in this very early stage) is definitely a mixture of excitement and worry. A whole host of things can go wrong. P confessed to me the other night that he is really worried and freaked out about everything from miscarriage and how I would handle that to not being a good father (P will be a top tier kind of father, btw). I told him it’s a bit like never allowing yourself to fall in love for fear of having your heart broke. Or never driving for fear of getting into a car crash. Sometimes you just have to take a leap of faith. The odds of this going well are very much in our favor. *Knock on wood*
I really don’t fear miscarriage that much. It’s a very really possibility at this point, but I trust my body to work as it should if everything is mean to be. Miscarriage is often the result of a chromosomal abnormality, like natural selection. Frankly, I’m okay with that. Of course I would be disappointed and probably a bit sad, but I am by no means attached yet. I’m just so happy that we were able to conceive. We work! I’m sure I’ll feel a much stronger connection and consequently sadder if something happens as we go on.
Obesity is a big problem with the women in my family, so I will be extra cautious to be healthy. I’ll continue to walk to a from work, speed walk on the treadmill at least 30 minutes 3x a week, at least one yoga class a week, and keep up the mild weight training and toning. I would be lying if I said I wasn’t a bit fearful about what this is going to do to my body. I like my normal body, very much in fact. My weight is currently in the low 120s. I think it’s a perfectly safe and reasonable goal to end this pregnancy around 150 lbs. I’ve never been above 130. I don’t want to worry or obsess about my weight after birth, I just want to enjoy my baby and happily consume enough calories to breastfeed.
I do think about other things! P and I actually don’t even talk about it that much at this point. We’re having dinner downtown then seeing Joe Rogan at the Chicago Theatre. I have seen Joe Rogan’s stand-up comedy show no less than three times in the last 18 months. P has a bit of a man crush on him or something. He listens to his podcasts and just loves him. He usually has pretty funny people opening for him, so really I don’t mind. I intend to spend most of the rest of the weekend relaxing.