To Build a Home

 I wish I could leave this place. Not come back. I feel so disenchanted with everything right now. Along with most people. I used to be excited to run away to Tampa. Now I hate it. I hate what it’s become. I hate how the people have changed into these ugly monsters. I’ve been trying to build something there, but now it just seems so stagnant. I’m still alone most of the time. I feel empty. I feel everything. Nightmares. Longings for people and things. But I get up every day, and I try. Despite the anxiety I’ve been continually feeling, the disenchantment, and the longing for a different place; I get up in the morning. I wish I could run away to some new place and start over. I wish I could go to New York or L.A. and just see what happens. See how hard I fail, or if, by chance, I succeed. No one says I’ll succeed. But there’s always the chance.

I’m a dreamer. I’m lost. I want to feel loved.