People Suck

 I don’t understand this bullshit of what I’m supposed to be doing with my life. I don’t fucking know what I’ll be doing in 1 year or 5 years or 10 years. For all I know, I’m going to be fucking dead, so leave me alone. I don’t know. And I don’t understand why people don’t understand why I’m not allowed to take things one day at a time. No, I have to have my whole life planned fucking out. Well, I don’t know. And I’d rather take it a day at a time because then I won’t be fucking zoinked out with anxiety of why I’m doing nothing with my life. I’m already anxious as it is. I already don’t want to get up in the morning. Why should I make myself even more miserable? If other people want to do that, then fine, they can, but leave me out of it. I’ll figure it out in time. People constantly look down upon decisions like still being at home with parents. Well, it’s cheaper, and I don’t fucking feel like playing house just yet. I’m not being crippled with debt because I made a bunch of stupid decisions that made me feel like I needed to be in some house or apartment or something. Fuck. I have my entire life to deal with that shit. 

"Why are you still living with your parents?" Because I don’t feel like being mentally drained about whether or not I’ll be able to come up with rent at the end of the month. I don’t feel like devoting my entire life to a job that I’d rather be dead than to be sucked into. Leave me the fuck alone. I will get to it some day. People’s ways of doing things are not the only ways. Life is fluid. To tell me that a way I’m doing things is not how it’s done is bullshit. Get your head out of your ass. Whether it be about relationships or about how I live my life. I can do it any way I feel. Just because a different way is less socially acceptable doesn’t fucking matter. Shut the fuck up.

Today I’m pissed off by everything. Yesterday I wanted to cry my eyes out about everything. Let me deal with things my way. Most people don’t understand though, and that’s why I feel ever so alone. And yet I am alone. So alone. I can’t even get someone to understand, and the first person I do in quite a while, I fuck things up.

Fuck off.